Friday, April 25, 2008

A Day Of Coincidental Milestones, or, "Two Years And A Thousand Posts"

I realized the other day that, quite by accident, the two-year anniversary of ZFS! was going to fall right around the publishing of my 1000th post, and then my mind was totally blown clean out of my head. It's kind of like Fate giving me a thumbs up and a giant bear hug and whispering in my ear, "the universe cares about what you're doing, my child." I mean, what are the odds that these two momentous (to a nerdy blogger) milestones would intersect so perfectly? Well, I did the math and, turns out, the odds are exactly 1 in HOLY FUCK to the third power. Neato!!!

Anyway, yes, this is my 1000th post here on ZFS!, and it's happening exactly two years to the day that I started up this here blog as a way of occupying my time at work. I feel like I should shoot off some fireworks or sacrifice a goat to Bill Gates or drink so much Everclear that I travel through the dimensions and fight an evil army of dragons. Or, you know, something to mark these twin occasions.

I've been debating all week about what to do, actually... about what would strike just the right note and really sum up everything that I want to say about this which has been such a large part of my recent life. After it was determined that a close-up photograph of my balls would be inappropriate, I decided instead to go with the blogger equivalent of a parent showing off pictures of his kids to disinterested relatives. The truth of the matter is, while there's a lot of stuff on ZFS! that I could take or leave, there are a few things that I am in fact quite proud of. And what better time to give myself a nostalgic handjob than on a day like today?

So here now, I give you...

C-dog's 15 Favorite Posts From Two Years of ZFS!

I shoud point out... these are just what I came up with off the top of my head; the ones that really stuck out, in other words. I might think of other ones later that I liked better or for different reasons or whatever, but this is as close to a "Best Of..." list as I could get. Oh, and they're in no particular order, because that's for suckers.

Wisdom For The Kids
C-dog And Girlfriend On The Mermaid Parade, Pt. 1 and Pt. 2
My Los Angeles Nights
Grand Theft Uh-Oh!
We Are Excellent Tenants
Cheap Beer Is Hilarious: A Pictoral
It Came From Chinatown…
This Blog For Sale
My Nomad Years
Substances Into Which You Dip French Fries
Ash Wednesday Alternatives
Sandwiches I’ve Never Eaten
My Hometown: A Brief Pictoral
I Got 99 Problems But A Bitch Ain’t One
Hood Memories

So there you go. Hope you enjoyed this little look back, and I hope you continue you to enjoy ZFS! until the day comes that I finally decide to take it out behind the barn and "put it to sleep" for good. But no worries... that day is a long way off.

Thanks for reading, guys. Seriously.


Blogger Cray said...

Cheers! I think that deserves a bacon smoothie to celebrate.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Lioux said...


After recognizing many, many of these posts. I am sitting here contemplating what the HELL am I doing with my life?!?!!!

Totally JK.

Congrats! I Heart ZFS!!!!



11:54 AM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

great 15 posts here.
and to think i used to believe the internet was just for porn.

i've lived in nyc my whole freaking life and i've never seen anyone brazenly brandish a gun in public.

12:00 PM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

i did see a pissed off driver pull out a big ass machete after a bad fender bender. AWESOME!

12:02 PM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

Mazel Tov!

12:04 PM  
Blogger surviving myself said...

congrats man!

12:04 PM  
Anonymous JustinS said...

Two years and a cold G? That's just plain awesome.

And a little sad... I think I discovered this place on post 997. Got a lot of catching up to do.

But you've also given me a goal. If I can somehow orchestrate post 666 to fall on my first anniversary, well, let's just say I'm sure I'll score some mad points with the dark lords. Might even get out of sacrificing a goat that day.

And that would be fucking sweet. You know how messy and unsanitary that shit is?

12:15 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Cray... I'm already on my third!

Lioux... Thanks, dude. Two more years at least. Also, and I haven't done a tally or anything, but I think you probably win the coveted Most Comments Ever award. It's a bronze statue of me, mooning you.

Jason... They were both charming experiences, to be sure. Only me and my dry cleaner will ever know how scared I was.

Brooklyn... However you say "thanks!" in Jewish!!!

Surviving... Thanks, in English!

JustinS... Yeah, you really need to get caught up. There's going to be a test later and it counts for more than your SATs. As for the goat-sacrificing, brother, tell me about. Those stains NEVER come out.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Irish and Jew said...

YAY clint-bear!!!!


1:01 PM  
Blogger Lioux said...


1:37 PM  
Blogger Hex said...

Here's to 1,000 more from one of my favorite daily stops. Congrats!

3:27 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I&J... Thanks Jew-bear and Mick-bear!!!

Lioux... Isn't it just?

Hex... Thanks, yo. 1000 more comin' up.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I remember the day I found your blog.

It was from a link from Gawker.

[Does anyone read Gawker anymore?]

Anywho, I can't believe it's been two years.

Good job C-Dawg!

4:46 PM  
Blogger Lioux said...


This was my first ever ZFS! comment in the ZFS! comments section:



This incident actually happened on the train track bridge behind my childhood home.

It's rumored the rocker kid was actually committed suicide because he was picked on so badly in high school.


And I think those Patsy and Björk song selections are EXCELLENT!


I wonder what a mash up of the two would sound like?"

On THIS post.

I would've been commenting sooner, but I didn't know about ZFS! until then.

I blame Colleen.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

Thinking back Nostalgic like, I found you through my man Midwesterner and it was that post that made me feel bad for when I was a little kid playing with leggos and then seeing those Masterful Leggo art thingys and I was just down on my self and you told me not to worry about my sorryass lego playing... I love you for that, (in a non gay way, not that there is anything wrong with that)

7:35 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Big Daddy... Ever since they stopped doing their Bloggorhea posts, I've completely stopped reading Gawker. I just don't care about media-world gossip. I will say, though, that Defamer and Deadspin (owned by the same web conglomerate) are top notch sites. Oh, and thanks!

Lioux... That's hilarious! I thought you'd actually been commenting for longer than that.

Bill... I'm all about healing and caring here at ZFS!. Glad to have you on the team (in a non-gay way, of course).

9:59 AM  
Blogger Lioux said...

I know. Right, Clinton?

I thought it was much longer that too.

I still remember the day Colleen sent me the e-mail:

"hey [real name]!

i mentioned you and something i remember from waaay back in the day in a comment on this blog's most recent post:

see if i got it right?

my crazy brain mighta made up the crazy train part."

And that's when the love affair between ZFS! and myself started...

12:47 PM  
Blogger Braden said...

But who will win--the Zombie or the Shark? This better not all be a dream that Pam Ewing's been having.


1:35 PM  
Blogger DrunkBrunch said...

Congrats! I'm excited to spend the day reading your best-of posts.

I'll attempt to make a bacon cup in your honor.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Lioux... Love affair! How exciting!!! Are we going to Rome? Is it cool that I'm straight? Because if not, and we're going to Rome, I can make exceptions.

Braden... The winner will be revealed on the last post ever of this blog, which will then be revealed as having been just a dream inside the mind of an autistic child.

Drunkbrunch... I hope you enjoy them! They go great with things made of bacon.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Lioux said...

We'll always have Rome, Clinton.

We'll always have Rome.

10:28 PM  

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