Monday, March 05, 2007

My Hometown: A Brief Pictorial

Our City Logo



No, you're not wrong; it's as ugly as you think. Uglier, actually, because at least with this picture the colors aren't faded and everything is spelled correctly. The same cannot be said for the various duplicates of this design stamped all over everything in the city of my birth. Fun Fact: Depending on your state of mind, Arlington is either the city that sits between Dallas and Ft. Worth, or the place where Dallas and Ft. Worth die out in a black hole of chain restaurants and "Jesus Is Coming, Look Busy" bumper stickers. Oh, but I kid Arlington, TX! It was, on the whole, a pretty good place for a kid to grow up. Hell, at least we had movie theaters; that's more than you can say for a healthy 85% of the cities in Texas, where the main form of entertainment consists of watching a man ride a very unhappy bull. While I can't deny the inherent charms of the rodeo, sometimes you just want to watch a Jim Carrey movie.

Six Flags



Otherwise known as the theme park of our collective misspent youth. The Six Flags season pass was a requirement for growing up in our neck of the woods; it's where you'd go and hang out on the weekends, pre-driving age. It's where most of our town's population met their first boy-or-girlfriend, had their first date, their first kiss, their first public break-up and their first upside-down boob grope while riding the Shockwave (pictured). In high school, at least half of Arlington's kids worked at Six Flags, in one capacity or another. Being one of the other half who elected to work elsewhere (in one of the aforementioned movie theaters, in my case), I feel like I got gypped out of an essential part of the Raised-In-Arlington experience. Sure, I cleaned up my fair share of spilled popcorn and little-kid vomit, but it wasn't theme park popcorn and vomit and that's what is known around my town as "missing out."

Random Dirtbag Motel



These are inexplicably everywhere in my hometown. The best of which is the Arlin Motel, which I couldn't find a picture of. It was (and, I assume, still is) a notorious flop house that rents by the hour and charges you 50$ extra if you want sheets on the bed. That, I'd like to think, rivals even my current city of New York in the skank department. Anyway, the presence of these various rat shacks lends our town an air of seediness that I find endlessly appealing.

The Ballpark in Arlington (NOT Ameriquest Field, assholes!)



One of the few places in Arlington that carries it's self with class and dignity, despite the general crapitude of the home team's performance. Easily one of the nicest ballparks in the country, it's basically a mecca of baseball enthusiasm, father-son bonding and cheap beer in plastic cups. Soon, it will have the new, billion-dollar home of the Dallas Cowboys right next to it, like the stinky uncle who shows up and crashes on your couch until the end of time. Shame. The Ballpark doesn't need the company; it stands fine and proud on its own.

Arlington High School



My Alma Mater. And, from what I've gathered, the best of all the Arlington High Schools. We had a perfect mix of rich kids and poor kids, a well-blended pool of ethnicities, and a football team that was, during my tenure, one of the worst in the state, which helped AHS from becoming a total jockocracy (though I understand that's not the case any more). Martin HS was all snobs with coke problems, Bowie HS was full of gangbangers, Lamar was mostly rich kids and they did have a good football team, and nobody cared about Sam Houston HS. There's a new one now, apparently, but it wasn't there when I was around and therefore it doesn't exist.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its about time Arlington (or Agg Town as the kids call it) got some respect around here. I gotta say, it was pretty much the perfect not too big, but not too small town to be raised in. Granted, I up and moved to the "big city" as soon as I got a chance. Fort Worth is just so much more dignified!

ps- I think there's a new logo now... not sure though

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm. You sure seem to know a lot about the policies of the Arlin.

And how could you leave out the Parks Mall? That is pretty much what I think of when I think of Arlington, but that's probably because when in Arlington we usually just go wherever Mother-In-Law tells Father-In-Law to drive us.

1:09 PM  
Blogger Jonathan T said...

Growing up in Houston and San Antonio, I saw my fair share of crack-whore, pay-by-the-1/2-hour, vibrating-bed motels.

My favorite was the Ranch Motel in SA that had the lights out in the sign so when you drove by at night, it looked like "Roach Motel." Very apt.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Jonathan T said...

Link to a picture of the sign:

http://www.roadsidepeek.com/roadusa/southwest/texas/
texasmotel/ranchmotelsananttx.jpg

1:16 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Scotty... That would make me very sad if there is, in fact, a new logo. It'd be like they killed a little of my childhood.

Anonymous... Yeah, I totally forgot about the Parks Mall, otherwise known as the OTHER place to hang out pre-driving age. Guess that'll have to wait until round two. As for the Alrin Motel policies, well, what can I say? I needed a place to have sex with whores.

Jonathan... Must be a Texas thing. Awesome pic, by the way.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

Hey,
Good idea for a post! I may rip this off someday...
This also reminded me of my friend's blog about her days working at a theme park where everyone in her hometown worked: the infamous Action Park. She has oh so many stories about those days.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Gracias! Feel free to rip away... It's always fun to talk about your hometown, especially if it's an endearingly lowbrow burg like mine.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Suggestions for future Arlington blogs:

1) The aforementioned Parks mall- now the mall the white people used to go to. And Six Flags Mall, Forum 360, Fiesta Marketplace... otherwise known as where the homicides occur.

2) I feel you are neglecting your time at Oakridge. Give the Owls a little love.

3) I know Six Flags was mentioned but Wet 'n Wild cannot and must not be forgotten. BTW, if you refer to it as Hurricane Harbor, then there's a good chance I do not respect you as a person.

4)The supposedly haunted house on Arkansas between Fielder and Bowen.

5) THe fact that you used to live next door to freakin' Mayor Vandergriff.

6) UTA.... the school most of us swore we would never attend yet ended up there at some point anyway.

7) THe wiggly jiggly joints off of 360 and the ones off of 157. Everyone loves fat strippers!

That's all I have for now... unless Putt Putt or Mountasia deserve mention!

3:53 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Excellent suggestions, all. I'm particularly in love with the term "Wiggly Jiggly Joints" and will be working that into any and all conversations for the rest of my life.

And, no worries, there is NO Hurricane Harbor. It's Wet & Wild, now and forever.

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alas, I have no way to reward such fond remembrance.

Unless ...

shall my frozen tears suffice?

4:28 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Yes, City of Arlington... yes. Be still now and weep no more. Held firmly in my heart, are ye.

4:38 PM  
Blogger freshbread said...

Funny post. Never spent too much time in Arlington. Did live in Dah-liss, for quite a while, though. Never had a Six Flags season pass, which probably made me even less cool than I already was (not sure if that is possible).
However, I did go to Wet 'n Wild once. My friend's older brother drove us there in a convertible. With the top down (oh yeah).

By the time we got there (via freeway of course) my face was so numb from windburn I was convinced that it had fallen off.

greets from seattle

10:51 PM  
Blogger FrancesDanger said...

I've been there to visit Six Flags! We also went to The Ripley's Believe it or Not/Wax Museum while we were there if I recall correctly and am not smoking crack. I'm probably hitting the pipe though so correct me if I'm wrong.

1:33 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Gwiz... Believe me when I say that you didn't miss too much by not spending a lot of time in Agg Town. Great pics on your blog, by the by.

Frances... You're right on the money; the wax museum/Ripley's thingy is about a mile down the freeway from Six Flags. I want to say that it's not there anymore, but I could be wrong.

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ripley's is still there in all its white trash glory.

10:01 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Don't know why I thought it was gone. Must be thinking of something else.

12:24 PM  
Blogger syd said...

i grew up in georgetown, one of the aforementioned towns where we did not have a moie theatre. In 2003 we flipped over the fact that we now had a starbucks!!! With the retirement community, inherent closed mindedness and lack of anything to do that did not revolve around our awful football team, it's no wonder that the majority of everyone's adolescence there was spent learning the fine art of being a drag rat in austin.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I've been through Georgetown a time or two; I think I've stopped there for gas.

Man, I miss Austin... the drag rats were the awesomest.

5:02 PM  

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