Might As Well Jump

The last couple of days, I've been reading this book:



It's really great and it's about the redemptive powers of rock music and everyone should buy it and give it as a gift on special occasions, etc. etc. Anyway, there's this part where one of the main characters, in a fit of schizophrenic madness, climbs to the top of a water tower, duct tapes a pair of headphones to his head, plugs them into a Walkman, cranks the volume up to 10 and then jumps off. It's never found out what music he was listening to when he died; a fact that troubles the book's other characters.

This got me thinking. Were I about to jump off of a water tower (a fall that would certainly kill me), and I'd just duct taped headphones to my ears, what song would I choose to accompany my long drop?

"Jump" - Van Halen

While admittedly a great song, it's a tad too obvious. Besides, would you want people to know that the song you chose as the soundtrack to your suicide was one by Van Halen? How embarrassing. I mean, it's not as bad as picking a Bon Jovi song or something, but it's still pretty bad.

"The End" by The Doors

This, on the other hand, has risen above it's obviousness and reached a place that makes perfect sense. 15 year old boys would probably think you were some kind of God and, as we all know, 15 year old boys keep local legends alive better than just about anybody. If you're looking to be remembered always amongst the zits-and-snuck-beers crowd, this is the song to pick. Keep in mind, though: The Doors do kind of suck.

"Lollipop" by The Chordettes

This will make you a legend too, but in a David Lynch sort of way. Cheery songs always sound supremely evil when juxtaposed with death and, hey, if that's the way you want to go out, then you could do a lot worse than this one.

"Perfect Day" by Lou Reed

Dreamy, epic without being showy, and nicely ironic... a good choice. If you could time your jump to coincide with the end of the song, where it gets a bit more bombastic, that'd be icing on the cake. Plus, you could spend the opening bit gazing out into the sunset, sunrise, mid-day sun or whatever lighting situation you, personally, would find the most poignant.

"Brick" by Ben Folds Five

Only acceptable if you or someone you love has just had an abortion. And even then, it's probably too "on the nose."

"Let's Go Crazy" by Prince

If you'd like to go out with a sense of humor, this is a good selection. Also, it's Prince, who never goes out of style. When family members recount your death many years from now, they'll be sad you're gone, sure, but they'll admire your taste in music.

"For No One" by The Beatles

If you're jumping due to a bad break-up, this is a nice "fuck you" to your now-ex. What's nice about it is that it's not a song that gets a lot of play these days, but it's not so obscure that you stand the chance of being written off as some record-collecting weirdo, a label that leads directly to your dismissal from the public's consciousness. The Beatles are unimpeachable when it comes to song choice, so choosing one for this type of situation won't ever be a bad move.

So... yeah. Any other ideas?