Today In Horrifying Products
2ND UPDATE: Site's back up, motives still unclear.
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UPDATE: The website linked below seems to have stopped working. Interesting, and possibly a sign that this is all just a goof.
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Okay, sure, that looks kind of weird, but what is it? Well why don't we read the official ad copy:
Office Collar has been designed in response to the open plan, working environment. The collars act as spatial isolators, narrowing the field of vision, therefore enabling their wearer to focus on the tasks in front of them.
That's right... They're office drone horse-blinders designed by someone who is apparently a huge fan of Orwellian nightmares. Speaking as a person who works in an office building, let me be the first to say, "Oh, hell no!" Because I'm lazy and resistant to change in much the same way that gravity is an immutable characteristic of the planet Earth, I tend to put up with a lot of shit from my employers, if for no other reason than complaining is a total hassle. However, there are some things... oh, I don't know, things like this abomination... that I think even I, Captain Whatever, could not abide.
Of course, there's absolutely zero chance that any business would actually attempt to force these on their employees, or at least not a business in America, anyways. We're way to litigious and self-righteous a people to ever, ever put with bullshit like this; your average US office staff would turn mutinous so fast, it'd make the crew of the HMAV Bounty look like a bunch of pussies. Still, though, that someone would even take the time to design this... that's fucking black-hearted. Their parents must have been responsible for handling the Brownshirt's paperwork.
NOTE: I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't a joke, yet I can find no evidence to support that the people behind the above-linked site are "just kidding." Thoughts? This can't be real... can it?
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UPDATE: The website linked below seems to have stopped working. Interesting, and possibly a sign that this is all just a goof.
---------------------------------------------------
Okay, sure, that looks kind of weird, but what is it? Well why don't we read the official ad copy:
Office Collar has been designed in response to the open plan, working environment. The collars act as spatial isolators, narrowing the field of vision, therefore enabling their wearer to focus on the tasks in front of them.
That's right... They're office drone horse-blinders designed by someone who is apparently a huge fan of Orwellian nightmares. Speaking as a person who works in an office building, let me be the first to say, "Oh, hell no!" Because I'm lazy and resistant to change in much the same way that gravity is an immutable characteristic of the planet Earth, I tend to put up with a lot of shit from my employers, if for no other reason than complaining is a total hassle. However, there are some things... oh, I don't know, things like this abomination... that I think even I, Captain Whatever, could not abide.
Of course, there's absolutely zero chance that any business would actually attempt to force these on their employees, or at least not a business in America, anyways. We're way to litigious and self-righteous a people to ever, ever put with bullshit like this; your average US office staff would turn mutinous so fast, it'd make the crew of the HMAV Bounty look like a bunch of pussies. Still, though, that someone would even take the time to design this... that's fucking black-hearted. Their parents must have been responsible for handling the Brownshirt's paperwork.
NOTE: I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't a joke, yet I can find no evidence to support that the people behind the above-linked site are "just kidding." Thoughts? This can't be real... can it?
posted by Clinton at 12:58 PM
4 Comments:
They wouldn’t be bad if you worked with a bunch of ugly people.
Site's back up now. Still not sure if it's real. Maybe it's just a conceptual art thing - the person seems to be one of those "artsy" types. It's supposed to make a statement about how we should all just do our work and not interact and just become automatons... or something.
I really feel like this is a separate product, repurposed. And I think its original name was "The Private Blow Jobinator." And its sales pitch was that it enabled you to give blowjobs without everyone around you noticing. Much. Except that you had a guy with dropped pants in front of you and a big cone on your head.
You can see why they needed to give it another purpose.
They also come in handy if you're a faceless WWI vet:
http://www.escuela.org.pe/imagenes/johnny_got_his_gun3.jpg
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