Here's A Picture Of A Classy Product

Discussion Questions

-Think about how much time went into making the "Bubble Breezer," which, if you can't tell, is a piece of molded plastic designed to simulate a man bent over mid-fart with his pants around his ankles. The man's fart is represented by the bubbles that are thusly emitted. Think about the planning that had to happen, the failed prototypes, the long hours the designers put in to make the butt-crack juuuust right, the meetings about marketing and package design... now, think about how much better the world would be if all the time and energy used to create the "Bubble Breezer" had been diverted to, say, AIDS research or providing food to the homeless. Are you crying now?

-Do you think less of me, C-dog, for wanting one of these quite badly? Does the fact that I'm currently sitting at my girlfriends computer, clad only in boxers, eating a handful of Tootise Rolls and drinking one in a long series of beers (all true), affect your answer?

-Is this is the product that will finally replace your drunken uncle's Big Mouth Billy Bass as the thing that best represents his sense of humor?

-Imagine that you've got a bunch of wealthy, upper-crust types at your house for an elaborate dinner. You've all just finished the dessert and coffee and you ask them if they'd like a tour of your personal art collection. They, being snooty, art-loving types, of course say that they'd be delighted. You escort them into a secure, environmentally-controlled room that contains many priceless works. You show them your original Matisse, your sculpture by Dali, your pieces by Degas and Picasso... and then, you unveil the piece de resistance: a "Bubble Breezer," encased in glass and lit with as single spotlight. Wouldn't that be hilarious??? The looks on their faces??? I'm dying just THINKING about it!!!

NOTE: This test will not be graded. I have had far to much to drink to even consider that possibility. I trust that all of you are honest people who genuinely want to learn and wouldn't dare cheat a person such as I, one who really only wants to help you become a [insert dream profession here]. Besides, if it comes out that you HAVE been cheating, I'll simply throw you to the wolves. First metaphorically, then literally.