8 Examples Of Pop Culture-Themed Religious Flair

NOTE: As I am a thirteen year old girl at heart, one of my favorite parts of the whole Facebook experience is the "Flair" application. If you're not a thirteen year old girl like myself, allow me to explain... See, you get to browse through a large selection of buttons (not REAL buttons... cyber-buttons) that have various pictures and slogans on them and, from their ranks, choose the ones that define your personality. It is, quite frankly, a hoot. The best ones, though, are the religious ones that attempt to appropriate aspects of pop culture to their holy cause. Some are more successful than others. Herewith, a sampling...

Luke Skywalker Jesus



Yeah, I get it, the lightsaber is a cross and he's going to use it to fight Satan, but Satan's dressed like Darth Vader except with horns. Here's my problem, though: Lightsabers don't work like that. They don't have beams that shoot out of the other beams all horizontal and crazy. I mean, MAYBE you could get sort of the same effect by having two Jedi cross their lightsabers and fight Satan as a team, but that kind of fucks up the whole one-man-fighting-evil thing the flair is working on and... also... the proportions would be all off because there's not a lightsaber out there with a beam short enough to be a convincing East/West portion of a cross. Nope, sorry, this one just doesn't work. Though, as always, bonus points for invoking The Trilogy.

Superman Jesus



Superman was always a Jesus simulacrum anyway... the whole "son sent down to save mankind" thing, ya know, although I'm not sure who Jimmy Olsen was supposed to represent. Lois Lane either, for that matter, as Jesus didn't have an on-again, off-again plucky reporter girlfriend in the Bible. Unless I seriously misinterpreted John the Baptist's roll in everything. Still though, as far as pop cultural religious references are concerned, this is about as dead-on as you're going to get.

Facebook, but Religious



Very meta, and I like that in a Charlie Kaufman sort of way.

Cubs Fan Jesus



Er, actually, it would stand to reason that Jesus is a fan of every baseball team in the major league OTHER than the Cubs, seeing as how they haven't won a World Series in a hundred years. Even the Tampa Bay Rays are getting touched by the Lord this season. The Cubs...? After a season of top-notch play, they're skidding like a drunk driver on an icy road. Jesus might very well be in the hearts and minds of all Cubs fans, but I believe the evidence suggests that the feeling isn't particularly mutual.

Wii Jesus



Blatant pandering to the kids. Shameful, particularly since Jesus strikes me as more of a board game type of guy. Like, you know, if you're partnering up for Trivial Pursuit and Jesus happens to be around... seriously, lock him down as your teammate. You guys will OWN those pieces of pie. (Jesus is psychic, as is my understanding)

iWorship



This is by FAR the worst one on the page because it doesn't mean anything. It's a cutesy play on the "iPod/iPhone/iWhatever" fad, sure, but it doesn't speak to any greater themes in the pop culture landscape, nor does it make a particularly trenchant comment on religion as a whole. All it says is, essentially, "I Worship." Okay, but what does that have to do with the state of consumer electronics? Nothing, that's what.

Computer Chip Jesus



Confusing. Is it saying Jesus is inside us all, or is it saying Jesus is inside computers? Or... both, maybe? I don't know and the flair is giving us any answers. Although props to the designer for getting the drop-shadow coming off the logo just right. That shit ain't easy.

American Pie God

Um... do religious people know that this line is a direct reference to a girl sticking a flute in her pussy?