Worth Your Valuable Time

Those fucking maniacs have done it again. This ice cream... dudes... it tastes like a piece of yellow sheet cake with chocolate frosting. Like from your childhood birthday parties, but all cold and creamy and, okay, you don't get any presents but that's just fine... you're an adult now. What would you do with a bunch of GI Joes/Barbies anyway (besides stage the awesomest all-out war/beauty contest on your block, I mean)? But yeah... I think they mugged Duncan Hines for his cake recipe and then busted out their Santeria voodoo magic or whatever the fuck it is they're doing up in Vermont and POOF... pint of ice cream so amazing, your tongue will hop out your mouth and give you a hug.

Try some today!

NOTE: Ben and Jerry better give me some fucking money for this advertising or I'm going up there and punching out their cows. I'll do it, too. Because fuck cows.

2nd NOTE: Not literally fuck cows, as in have sex with them. That's gross.

3rd NOTE: I'd fuck a cow if the price was right. Try me.