Thursday, September 04, 2008

Sarah Palin: Scary


Um. Well. Wow. Okay, so at first, when the Republicans announced that they had chosen a relatively obscure Governor of a state that... quite frankly... no one really thinks about outside of those keen on salmon fishing and frostbite, I was all, "Oh ha ha those 'tards... they've made a HUGE mistake but that's fine because it'll just get Obama in the White House that much faster and I can go back to my happy life of not caring at all about politics! Hooray! Let's drink many beers and dive headfirst into a bowl of Cheez-Its!"
Now though... after her speech at the RNC... I get it. I see why they chose her. And the decision to do so is nothing short of diabolical. Because she's TOTALLY what the Republicans need right now. She's "real." She's "just like us." She's a (gag) Hockey Mom who runs bake sales and drives herself to work and has absolutely no problem with throwing open her state to the environmental ruin that comes with mass digging for sweet, sweet oil. She's their dreamgirl, boys... she'll make them happy. AND she tells jokes! AND she's sassy! AND she all but accused Obama of being the Zodiac killer! Oh, and let's not forget... she shot a moose!! (not onstage at the RNC, which I'll admit would have been impressive, but out in the wilds of Alaska or something)
Personally, I find her terrifying. And not just because she knows how to operate a hunting rifle. No, I find her deeply, deeply scary because... and I mean no disrespect to the people of the United States... but this is EXACTLY the kind of bullshit that the people of the United States buy wholesale with a smile and cheer and a pair of blind eyes. Our President for the last eight years can heartily attest that fact, as he is a good ol' boy Washington outsider aw shucks hey let's put on a war, why not?!?!
Ugh. So... yeah... look, I hate to be all Negative Nancy this morning, but I can't help but think that we as a nation are royally fucked. This morning, across America, thousands upon thousands of easily confused, easily frightened registered voters are whispering to each other, "Hey, did you see how she stuck it to that smarty-pants brainiac nerd! She's just like MY mother... God, I love my mother... my mother loved God... yeah... oh yeah... she's got my vote!!!"
It's the end of the world, kiddos. No joke. I envy the moose.

16 Comments:

Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

For a real kick in the nuts (or ovaries), click over to today’s Wall Street Journal and read the front page piece on Palin. The gist of the article is, “Don’t be afraid, folks. She’s really not all that conservative.” I am DYING. If the Dems blow this election, the party should disband on the grounds that they’re hapless dolts.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I find amazing is how everyone in the Republican party, including Palin herself, is just glossing happily over the Monegan scandal. Personally, I find the idea that she used her power to get a man fired for personal reasons a hell of a lot more troubling than the fact that her daughter is knocked up. Yet, THAT she responds to *rolls eyes*

I guess we'll just have to see what the investigation bears out.

-Phoenix

9:15 AM  
Blogger Braden said...

Good points, all, and if I think about it, I can come up with plenty of cynical reasons why she'd take votes away from Obama. Let's hope these VP choices don't really carry that much weight with voters in the Fall.

9:52 AM  
Blogger mmyers said...

I tried to stick it out with watching the convention but couldn't do it. I made it right up to her speech. I couldn't take it. It's all a bit too terrifying for me to go to sleep on.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Subway Gal said...

Yes, I agree that her speech was good (the parts I watched), but I still find her completely UN-qualified to run the country if John McCain gets hurt or passes away because he's old and that stuff can happen. Also, did you see this story by the AP about the holes in her speech? Like a true politician, she's apparently a major exaggerator - http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_fact_check

10:46 AM  
Blogger AndSheWas said...

I'm kind of with you on the "very bad things will happen" belief - but instead of the end of the world, it will be an all-out civil war, liberals vs. conservatives.

10:47 AM  
Blogger surviving myself said...

We're all fucked.

11:07 AM  
Blogger ML said...

the problem with BOTH candidates is that BOTH of their VP picks are, in my opinion, going to fuck up our lives. and in this election, i hate to be cynical, but we're voting for VPs here as much as presidents. the candidates both have a very likely chance of dying, one way or another. :(

12:39 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

I never bought the "she wasn't vetted" argument. She was totally picked on purpose. Her kid having a kid? A brilliant distraction as it gave the GOP the publicity it so badly needed. Now everyone knows who she is.

I'm honestly scared.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

The UB... Yeah, basically. It sucks that the ONE thing Republicans are good at is duping the dupable, meanwhile that's the ONE thing Democrats are bad at. At least in general terms.

Phoenix... Sex sells tabloids, unfortunately.

Braden... Man, I hope you're right. Fingers crossed she accidentally drops the n-word or gets caught on video throwing a bomb at a puppy.

Mmyers... I laid awake for HOURS last night all angry and whatever. Should have just listened to it at work, when I'm angry already.

Subway... I saw that article. That's where the Republicans are smart... they know the average voter is just going to take them at their word. Fact-checking is for squares.

And She Was... And the conservatives will win because they have all the guns.

Surviving... Agreed!

ML... Cheery though, but yeah I hear what you're saying. I have less of a problem with Biden, but that could be my starry-eyed Obama love clouding my vision.

Todd... Totally. This was a brilliant strategic move, no doubt. And we, as a country, are just dumb enough to fall for it.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous girlfriend said...

The fact that Palin's speech was written by Bush's aide, Matt Scully just goes to show that if the Republicans take the White House, it'll just be 4-8 more years of the same.

1:47 PM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

i'm planning an extended car trip to canada this january...

who's coming with??

2:32 PM  
Blogger Braden said...

Canada or Bust!

7:02 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

No way am I bailing to Canada. My backup plan for this election cycle involves moving to Montana and stocking up on guns. But to be fair, this is my backup plan for most things.

7:15 PM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

Todd- at least if they win, you'll be able to own all the guns you want. Sarah Palin is as pro-NRA/2nd amendment as they come!

10:52 AM  
Blogger SARAHSPY said...

totally in agreement with you. she's the devil presented as a harmlessly sweet but sharply articulate speaker. she IS exactly what they need to pick up hilary's voters & to make intense drilling in alaska a reality.

5:50 PM  

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