Monday, October 29, 2007

Movie Poster A Go-Go

Skid Marks: The Movie

As opposed to "Skid Marks: The Reason You Were Teased In Junior High," I guess? Anyway, this appears to be a movie about wacky paramedics and... hell, I don't know... a midget humping a lady's leg. Why not? Though, really, I have to question the wisdom in making Skid Marks: The Movie, as I'm fairly sure that everything that needed to be said on the subject of wacky medical professionals was adequately covered in the Fat Boys classic, Disorderlies. Oh, and notice how on the ambulance, it says "BALS." That's a joke about testicles. Just in case you missed it.

One Missed Call

Yikes. Somebody better go down to the basement and check on the One Missed Call graphic design team, because it appears that their collective bad trip is being reflected in their work. Bring some oranges with you, and some coffee, and see if you can get them to come down long enough to tell you if this image has anything to do with the actual film, or if this is just something that's been chasing them around the office for the last couple of days.

Iron Man

This posters okay, but really, they could have just had a white background with black text that said, "There's A Movie Of Iron Man Coming Out On May 2nd" and every guy who's ever picked up a comic book would have to think about their Dad taking a dump to get rid of the boner. Hell, I'm only barely acquainted with the world of comics and I'm sporting some serious nerd-wood over here. Did you see that part in the trailer when he's all crashing through walls and Black Sabbath is blasting on the sound track and there's explosions and... and... oh god, I've got to change my pants.

Funny Games

Now this, I like. It's creepy, for one thing, and it's got the text in an unusual place, which for some reason I always appreciate when I look at a movie poster. It's like they're trying to give we, the viewing public, something different to look at; something that isn't a freaky mouth-eyed face that's having a phone conversation with your subconscious, trying to set up a nightmare for later on. Are you listening, One Missed Call??? Anyway, Funny Games also has Naomi Watts in it, which is good news for people who like hot Australians.

The Mist

This poster is certainly misty, I'll give it that. Eh... you know, I'm pretty jazzed for this movie to come out (it was always one of Stephen King's most cinematic stories), but this poster doesn't really fill me with anticipation. If anything, it makes me want to see a Pink Floyd laser show, which I'm fairly certain isn't what the producers of The Mist were shooting for. Still... Frank Darabont rocks the King adaptations pretty well, so I remain cautiously optimistic.


Anonymous Just Saying said...

Want to talk scary. You put that Porter Wagoner guy on your website and call him a drag queen sort of and then he up and dies. What’s up with that?

10:51 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

You're right, me pointing out that he wore a silly jacket was the final nail in his coffin. Lung cancer had very little to do with it, such is my power.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous stew said...

I hope you like my outfit today, Clinton. Please don't kill me with your mind.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous chris w said...

The poster for Funny Games is quite awesome. I like that it's actually painted or at least faux-painted instead of some crappy Photoshopping job. I like the tag line, too.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Stew... We'll see. We'll just see.

Chris... Yeah, totally. It's just nice to see movie poster people doing something that's at least somewhat different.

P.S. I can't believe they're remaking Funny Games, with the same director no less. The original was fucking brutal.

12:01 PM  

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