Monday, October 22, 2007

UPDATE: Hello, I Feel Like Death

UPDATE: I honestly wouldn't have thought it possible, but somehow... despite all logic and reason... I feel even worse this morning than I did when I originally authored this post. I think a big part of it is, due to the whole "can't breathe" thing, I had a really hard time sleeping/staying-asleep-once-I-got-there last night. A good, hard snooze is difficult when it feels like a fat man is sitting on your chest, as it turns out. Anyway, I bring this up only because... see, here's the thing... I'm not usually one of those, "Oh, poor me; I'm sick and everyone should pity me because pity is nature's DayQuil and you want me to feel better, right???" types of people. I find it crass, frankly, to force one's misery on another and to fish for sympathy like... a... uh... fisherman, I guess.

My point is this: Usually, I'm far above wanting your pity. Today, though... today, I think I'd like to give your pity a try. So, please, shower me in it... your pity, your sympathy, your wishes for me to get well and return to my former glory as a guy who writes things on the internet, much like I'm doing now, but funnier and not so needy. You doing this for me is the only thing that's going to make me get better, kind of like how we all had to clap for Tinkerbell at the end of Peter Pan. The sound of your guilt-induced love is the one thing that can bring me back from the brink.... of DEATH!!!

Okay, so technically not death. "Feeling lousy" would be more accurate. Still, c'mon... have a heart, I've got a skull full of snot over here!!!

Anyway, let the great C-dog Pity Party of '07 commence!!!


I've got some sort of sinus infection, or at least I've got all the classic signs of one; there's a lot of snot, let's just say. Also, my throat's sore, my head hurts, and it feels like I'm trying to breath through a wool sock.

All in all, it's not fun (and, good news for my peeps who hung out with me this weekend, it's not contagious; I really hate being the plague carrier who's responsible for laying out a whole circle of friends, so... you know... at least I don't have to worry about that).

So, even though it's currently only about midnight on Monday, I already know I won't be going to work in the morning; instead, I'll be hitting up the doctor's office. Demanding drugs and maybe a few of those lollipops they give out to kids.

Anyway... just wanted to let you kids now where I'm at, should there be a distinct lack of postings today. I know how you all worry so about my general state of well-being.

Maybe more later, if I'm suddenly feeling feisty.

NOTE: You can tell I'm sick because I used the word "peeps" in a sentence and sorta meant it. What am I, a thirteen-year-old who thinks MTV is where all the cool in the universe comes from? Gah. NyQuil, take me away.


Blogger The Cajun Boy said...

i'm sure that your immune system hasn't been helped by your incessant boozing. stop it clinton, just stop it. next thing you know you'll be listening to springsteen.

1:51 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I appreciate the tough love, Cajun.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Ross said...

Wait? Am I supposed to clap for you? Or should I clap pitifully for you?

Sadly, I can do both.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous stew said...

poooooor, poooooooooooooor you.

Poooooooooor you, now you have to watch "the View."

9:59 AM  
Anonymous David said...

Didn’t your mother ever warn you about bringing home fat guys who like to sit on top of you all night long? It was probably a few years after she kept yelling at you for not buttoning your coat so you don’t get sick lecture, but before the don’t eat out of the communal bowl at the bar because people don’t wash their hands talk.
I would offer you my pity but it seems to me you could use drugs not pity which I can’t offer you either, so sorry.

10:32 AM  
Blogger NYCPonderings Chick said...

awwwwwww feel better, maybe try some grapefruit juice, it has some kickin vitamin C, normally does the trick for me energy wise

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Giggleloop said...

Yeah, I feel like so much ass today as well. Migraine from Hades. I drove the 35 miles to work this morning, only to have my boss take one look at me and say "Wow, you look like you feel like hell. Go home." Ugh. *passes you the NyQuil and a shotglass*

3:51 PM  
Blogger i like cheese said...

Please tell Beehive that your sinuse infection is not contagious. Thanks :)

5:47 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Ross... Either would be acceptable, thanks.

Stew... I did *not* watch The View, though I did watch the new, Drew Carey-ed Price Is Right. He was just fine, but he's not The Bob.

David... But I live on bar snacks.

NYCponds... By "grapefruit juice," do you mean "vodka?" Because if so, then done and done.

Giggleloop... Misery loves company, yo.

Cheese... Will do.

Beehive... My sinus infection is not contagious. And even if it was, you know, it'd be your fault for catching it because you *insisted* on making out with me on Friday.

6:08 PM  

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