Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Worth Your Valuable Time

I don't know your musical preferences. Maybe you dig Punk. Maybe you like a lot of rap music. Maybe you're really into a very specific math-core, screamo sound that's got a distinct shoe-gazer feel but with chunkier glasses and chord progressions that are only taught in Belgium. It doesn't matter. I think that, whatever your particular sonic predilections may be, the one thing we can all agree on is that what happened to Ozzy Osbourne is a fucking tragedy. I mean... fuck... the guy's become a befuddled cartoon; one that gets trotted out on stage a couple of times a year by a screeching harridan who's trying to ensure that the plastic surgery money keeps a-rollin' in.

Now, yes, there's a case to be made that Ozzy did a lot of damage to himself and, thus, it's probably better to have someone like Sharon around to make sure he doesn't piss on the Alamo again (true!). Still... I don't know... it just seems like it would have been better for him in the long run to have gone out like his bandmate Randy Rhodes; old enough to put out some classic albums, but young enough to avoid a smothering pseudo-death at the hands of reality TV.

Look, my point is, once upon a time, Ozzy used to rock. And last night I rediscovered that little nugget of truth when I randomly threw on Blizzard of Ozz, an album I haven't listened to since High School. The fact that I was doing the dishes while I gave it a listen doesn't matter (although it is extremely uncool). Let me just say that I've never in my life had such a good time scrubbing hardened cheese off a plate. And I've had some really fucking good times scrubbing hardened cheese off plates, so know that I'm being entirely sincere when I say this.

Anyway, if you haven't listened to Blizzard of Ozz in a long time, you should give it another whirl. It won't let you down. However, it will rock your socks.

NOTE: Just for the record, I'm 27; I was only just born when Blizzard of Ozz came out. All of my appreciation for Ozzy Osbourne and his ilk came during mid-90's, when I discovered that there was other music... older, awesomer music... than what was being played on 94.5, "The Edge."


Blogger lioux said...


I used to rock out with my cock out to this album back in the day!

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I close my eyes forever
would it all remain unchanged?
If I close my eyes forever
would it all remain the same?

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never listened to it.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Braden said...

This music is the devil's music, and I don't even have to listen to it to tell you that. Just look at what's on the cover:

- Misappropriated religious iconography

- Fog (probably from a nearby haunted fog machine)

- Human skull

- Inhuman horn (or ... tentacle?)

- The photographer's cat, "Miss Scribbles"

11:01 AM  
Blogger stew said...

that cat is like "I've coughed up hairballs more satanic than this. Yawn."

12:40 PM  

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