Monday, August 27, 2007

The ZFS! Guide to Anniversary Gifts, pt. 4

[And so we come to the end of the guest posts, with one final way to torture honor your significant other. Thanks to Clint for letting me pollute these precious mountain waters, and to all of you for being freshwater trout and not grizzlies. You're a valuable natural resource!

#4: The Evaluation

This anniversary, it's time to let him know where he stands. Literally -- will he be striking a Flintstone-esque pose on the back porch, duking it out with the emotional sabre-toothed tiger that is your anger? Or will things between you be, as Dr. Joyce Brothers is wont to say, "all good in the 'hood"?

Your Man's Performance Review: A Handy Checklist

Give your main squeeze props if, at any time in the last year, he:

__ Put on deodorant without asking

__ Refused payment for "Services Rendered"

__ Cried at any movie not starring Bruce Willis (except Hudson Hawk)

__ Did a 1080 Half-Nollie Grind under Adverse Weather Conditions (I mean, c'mon!)

__ Picked up the God-D***ed Check For Once

... And give him a Frowny Kitty, or "Jeer" if, at any time in the last year, he:

__ Dotted an "i" with a heart

__ Refused to stop calling you "The Ghost With The Most"

__ Ate one of your fingers

__ Asked you to put on his "special hat" and act out his favorite scene from Hudson Hawk
(Note: This is theoretically impossible)

__ Followed even one iota of advice from The ZFS! Guide to Anniversary Gifts

[The End! Tomorrow: The Return of C-Worthy!]


Blogger threetoedsloth said...

You know, I'm not sure if me and my dude even did anything for our most recent anniversary. But for Valentine's Day he got me a delivery of Fresh Direct groceries, complete with soymilk and cans of soup! THAT was romance.

7:21 AM  
Blogger Braden said...

I agree -- if we're talking actual, real gift ideas, I think one of the best things you can give your S.O. is some good free food. It's simple, they know you care, and you know they'll like it.

To the cafetorium!

8:49 AM  
Blogger lioux said...


Now THAT'S true love.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Irish and Jew said...

Awesome animations :)


1:13 PM  
Blogger Braden said...


3:25 PM  

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