Here's A Picture Of A Happy Man

Discussion Questions

-His name is either Stewart, or it's Ethan. Which one suits him best? Or is there a possibility that it's something way out there, like "Basil," or "Vaugh?" And what about nicknames? I'm thinking it's probably something like "Eggy" or "The Squirt." It's certainly nothing cool (i.e. "The Fist," or "Lumberjack," or "C-dog."), and that's even if he actually has one in the first place.

-Have you ever seen a man more confident in his dessert choice? Because I don't think I have... hell, I don't think I'd want to. If he had any more confidence in his martini glass of strawberried whatever-it-is, I think it's safe to say that he'd be fucking it.

-Anyone else think he might be evil? It's in the eyes, I think... or maybe it's his close-cropped hair... whatever the case, there's no doubt that he's met true horror and found that it really complimented his sweater.

-Man, I could sure go for a little something sweet right now... IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN??? And what I mean is: A Snickers. Maybe a Fast Break. Nothing dirty, though, which is probably the conclusion you came to, what with my lascivious italics and all.

-Would someone please start a glam-rock band called The Lascivious Italics? I'll provide the glitter if you can come up with the musical talent, songwriting ability, and some tight, stretchy pants. Animal print, preferably.

NOTE: If you get all the answers right, you win a free dessert-date with our boy Eggy up there. If you lose, you have to play Seven Minutes In Heaven with him. Be warned: He gets pretty "handsy" when he's had that much sugar.