Death Of A Dream
NOTE: Girlfriend and I just had this exchange via AIM. And now I'm crying my eyes out.
Me: (2:23:51 PM): Do you think I could get a job as an assassin for the government?
Girlfriend: (2:24:54 PM): No.
Girlfriend:(2:25:07 PM): They have standards.
Me: (2:25:21 PM): Ouch.
What do you do when you find out that your girlfriend thinks you'd make a poor-quality government assassin? Where do you go from there? Please, someone tell me how to make the hurting stop...
UPDATE: (sigh) She may have a point...
Me: (2:41:47 PM): I totally forgot to send off the Netflix today. BLAST!!!
Girlfriend: (2:42:03 PM): And that is why you'd make a poor hitman for the gov't. "I totally forgot to shoot that dude! Blast!"
Me: (2:23:51 PM): Do you think I could get a job as an assassin for the government?
Girlfriend: (2:24:54 PM): No.
Girlfriend:(2:25:07 PM): They have standards.
Me: (2:25:21 PM): Ouch.
What do you do when you find out that your girlfriend thinks you'd make a poor-quality government assassin? Where do you go from there? Please, someone tell me how to make the hurting stop...
UPDATE: (sigh) She may have a point...
Me: (2:41:47 PM): I totally forgot to send off the Netflix today. BLAST!!!
Girlfriend: (2:42:03 PM): And that is why you'd make a poor hitman for the gov't. "I totally forgot to shoot that dude! Blast!"
posted by Clinton at 2:28 PM
13 Comments:
Maybe to prove how good you are, you should take her out.
Too harsh?
This might sound a little drastic but you can always try to “take her out” from five blocks away. Everyday you forget you have to move one block closer. If you get to one block then “take her out” anyway for ruining your dream. Just so she does not take it personal write I Love You on the paintball and kiss it before loading.
If you think that is too drastic a way to prove your capabilities, buy her a dog let her become attached to it almost as much as she is to you then ‘Take the dog out”. Just a thought.
Dang Someone already stole my thought. Oh well I will post it anyway otherwise it was a complete waste of my time, better yet take Ross out.
i agree with david. or, you could do what any well-trained assassin would do, and say "fuck it. i'm havin' a beer."
Maybe instead of being an assassin you could try something a little more challenging.
Like, say, data entry.
Or accounting.
I think you sell yourself short. Wasn't there some movie where Richard Greico (sp) was a gov assassin? If he could do it, I bet you could.
(Please tell me you know who Richard Greico is, so I am not humiliated.)
Everyone Who Suggested I "Take Out" My Girlfriend... Please, she'd kill me. I've played lazer tag with her, so I know. She's cold-blooded.
Lioux & Big Daddy... Nah. I like to work with my hands.
Cherry Ride... Um, YEAH!!! You're talking about If Looks Could Kill, a very important movie in my youth. I still remember the tux that dispensed knock-out gas.
I love girlfriend, she makes me giggle :)
-Jew
Pshaw. I just suggested drunkenness. Girlfriend is a rockstar. She gets a gold medal.*
*where "gold medal" = "words onscreen"
don't stop believin'.
oh, wait, yeah, do.
stop believin'.
Might make a good story about someone whose girlfriend has little faith in him when he talks about wanting to be a gov’ ass’ but in reality is only the bumbling slightly overweight data entry clerk by day. But at night he takes of the pudge suit and is a sleek svelte killing machine that is the fear of the criminal world.
...Or an assassin who is secretly a crack data guy. He unwinds from a boring day shooting people by sitting down with Excel and a big pile of data. In his secret spy plane on the way to a job, he secretly scans the want ads, imagining how he'd decorate his cubicle, how he'd get the best candy out of the vending machine, how he'd really be amazing if only he could get out of the assassin rut.
Time to buy one of those dart guns with the suction cup bullets, and earn some respect.
Either that, or during an appropriate moment start saying things like "Who's your assassin, Who's your assassin!?"
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