Head Colds And Head Cheese

Still fighting off this blasted sinus infection, so I'm going to the doctor today for a heapin' helpin' of antibiotics. I'm also considering stealing his stethoscope, because I think it'll add an air of believability to the "medical practice" that I've been running out of kitchen. Oh speaking of... until August 20th, our "Two-fer Tuesdays" special is still in effect. Buy one organ removal, get the second absolutely free. Also, you will probably die. No refunds.

Anyway, while I'm out, let's get a lively discussion going on the subject of head cheese:



What is headcheese, you ask? Well I'll let Wikipedia, the internet's nerdy best friend, fill you in:

Head cheese (AmE) or brawn (BrE) is in fact not a cheese, but rather a terrine of meat from the head of a calf or pig (sometimes a sheep or cow) that would not otherwise be considered appealing. It may also include meat from the feet and heart. It is usually eaten cold or at room temperature as a luncheon meat. It is sometimes also known as soucemeat, particularly if pickled with vinegar. Historically the cleaned (all organs removed) head was simmered to produce a gelatin (which would form from the bone marrow) containing any incidental meat which came off the head. The more modern method involves adding gelatin to meat, which is then cooked in a mould.

You're thinking, "Okay, C-dog, the concept of head cheese is kind of awesomely gross, but why bring it up to us on a Monday morning. By the way, you're still amazingly gorgeous, even when you've got a head full of snot." First of all, thanks (wink). And to answer your other question, over the weekend, Girlfriend and I had a house guest: Girlfriend's cousin, "Annie" who's ten and a child prodigy on the piano. The fact that she's a child prodigy isn't technically relevant, but I like bringing it up because, no joke, the kid can just wail on the piano. She makes Amadeus look like a large bucket of... well... head cheese, I guess, which brings me back to my original point. So we've got Annie staying with us and it's up to us to show her a good time. We decided to attempt a little horizons-broadening, so we took her to dinner at this kick-ass German restaurant in our neighborhood called The Schnitzel Haus. After a quick perusal of the menu, and after being assured that I wasn't paying for the meal, I decided that the time was right to be bold and adventurous on someone else's dime. So I ordered the Haus' head cheese. It came with a side of home fries and a little gravy boat filled not with gravy, but with this tarter sauce-esque stuff that was just absolutely delicious. Next to the home fries sat the head cheese, two thick slices worth, draped liberally with ice-cold red onions. The idea was to take a spoonful of the tarter sauce stuff and smear it on top of the onions and head cheese, then... bon appetite. And that's exactly what I did.

It wasn't bad. As far as taste goes, it was very similar to a ham salad sandwich, minus the bread. Very, for lack of a better word, "porky." The real issue, and I think the main reason why it's not served at, say, Subway, is the texture. It's wiggly. It's cold. It's basically meat Jell-O and there's no getting around that very particular mouth feel. It is, in other words, mildly disturbing. But I persevered. I ate almost all of my two slices, having to give up towards the end because, and believe me when I say this, a little head cheese goes a looooong way. I do, however, applaud myself for being brave and for trying new things, especially since I was able to do so without any personal financial loss. That always makes food taste better. And for the record, Annie and Girlfriend both were absolutely appalled at my head cheese eating ways, though Girlfriend was brave enough to at least try a small bite. She was, to say the least, not impressed.

At any rate, with all of that having been said, here's the discussion questions: Head cheese; are you brave enough? Would you order it, provided you didn't have to foot the bill? Does the concept of bits of pig head suspended in a gelatin of it's own fat make you want to hurl so hard you might set a world record for hardest hurling ever?

M'kay, off to the doctor for medicines and whatnot. Be back later, kids.