Sunday, August 19, 2007

Potential Programming Pickle

NOTE: Alliteration!!!

Hey kids... okay, so here's the situation: Starting Monday, I'll be working at a new office building. It's still the same job, of course... Sadly, I have yet to be offered the magical, writing-based dream-ployment that would allow me to quit my current life as a cube-dwelling, invoice monkey. And seriously, why is that? You want me to beg? Shower you with flattery? Because I'll do it. No shame here; that died off years ago. Tell me the time, the place, and the preferred moistness of my lips and I'll be on my knees, kissing your ass, for as long as you want if it ends up with me writing for a living.

"Ha ha, C-dog's so silly."

Not. Fucking. Kidding.

But I digress... So, as I said, my current job is changing locations. As of tomorrow, we'll be found in a fancypants, super-office somewhere around Penn Station. Alright, so why is this bad? Well, it's bad for a variety of reasons, most of which, trust me, you don't care about. However, there is one potential pickle that could very much bring your world crashing down like a stunt plane at a county fair, and it's this:

There's a good chance I won't be able to blog from work.

At this point, it's just a rumor. We know that this building is apparently "much more strict about web security," which we've already been told means no iTunes, no AIM, no nothing that could possibly infect the precious computers. For obvious reasons, I haven't asked whether or not Blogger will be blocked by the firewall, but if they're freaking out about iTunes... well, I'd say it doesn't look good.

Now, that doesn't mean the end of ZFS! is nigh. Not at all. It just means I'll only be posting stuff early in the morning of after 6pm; a shift in the schedule is really all it is. But it will suck, and it will displease me greatly because... and I'm sure you know this already... writing this blog, reading your comments, etc. is pretty much the only thing that gets me through a long, shitty day of doing unpleasantly tedious work. Well, that and the iTunes, which is already dead and buried for my purposes.

So now we wait and see. Tomorrow's going to be crazy-go-nuts anyway, what with the settling in and getting re-IDed and trying to find out the location of the nearest bars, so I'd say that if you don't see anything up here by noon, I'd go ahead and assume the worst. Just try to make it to the stairwell or the bathroom before you completely lose your shit and start crying like a war widow. Ladies, you might want to bring some extra make-up because if things go South, you're probably going to need a reapplication.

Anyway, there you have it. Fingers crossed, hold your breath, and try to be brave little toasters. I know it's scary and painful, but please know that I'm feeling all of that too, only ten times worse. In fact, if you want to know exactly how I'm feeling inside, here's a visual representation:

Now you understand... now you get my sorrow.


Blogger HolyGirl427 said...

I've already started tying zombie green ribbons round oak trees as well crossing everything I can (at great impediment to my social life I might add). We simply cannot let the terrorists win.

3:46 PM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

Uh, I think your priorities are WAY out of order. It is obvious you need to find other employment. Blogging should be your #1 priority.

7:50 PM  
Blogger Midwesterner in NYC said...

If it makes you feel better my old employer was as strict as they came. Itunes? Are you kidding? We were blocked from going into "my computer" and "cotrol panel" let alone installing a program.

The Daily Mail from England was blocked because it had the word "mail" in it. No email, no IM..... no youtube......

but was always available

8:29 PM  
Blogger CrimsonKing2000 said...

Dag, yo. What company do you work for again? Soul Crushers, Inc.?

12:09 AM  
Blogger stew said...



we must band together and make you a better offer so you can write FOR US for a living.

I've got ummm 82 cents and some Canadian money that I don't know how much it's worth. And I can offer dental, but by dental I mean "not dental." Also, health insurance but only as provided my my vet, and only if you pretend to be my dog and then pay me back for any costs. And the Canadian money is your 401(k).

When can you start?

12:16 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Clint - Get an iPhone. Problem solved.

Also, I currently work near Penn St. and have found a few decent bars in the area.

9:56 AM  

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