Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Exciting Features Of My New Office

NOTE: Yes, I'm aware that this is like the 800th post in a row that's had something to do with my new office. Eat me, okay... work is kicking my ass right now, thus it's kind of at the forefront of my mind. Deal with it.

2ND NOTE: That came out a lot pissier than I intended. Sorry about that... see, this is what happens when my brain gets all gunked up with that bad combo of stress and indifference that comes from jobs like the one I'm currently barely holding down.

3RD NOTE: You know what, now I don't want to talk about work anymore. I'm mad at it. We're fighting. Instead, I'm going to talk about... um...

Ten Crazy Drinking Stories Involving C-dog

1. Okay, so there was this one time that I drank a lot of... whiskey, I guess... maybe it was scotch. Or possibly it was rum. Gin? Vodka? Really crappy beer that even hobos think tastes a little too close to cat pee... yeah, it was one of those... anyway, I threw up... I guess... (sigh)...

4TH NOTE: You know... I really have done the "I used to get drunk all the time" posts to death. I'm pretty sure everyone gets it; C-dog's a drinker. Crazy C-dog and his hard-drinkin' ways. Blah, blah... blah. So let's try something different, shall we?

Ten Non-Crazy Stories In Which C-dog Was Very Sober

1. Okay, so there was this one time when I drank a lot of 2% milk, and then I went to the Post Office because I had to mail a package to a friend of mine... it was a birthday present... a book, actually. I'd gotten a really good deal on it because Barnes & Noble was having a sale...

5TH NOTE: Wow. That wasn't very interesting, was it? Oookay... well... it's getting late and, clearly, I'm completely tapped in the creativity department. Fine, hey, that's cool... I can recognize it when the well has run dry. I'm sure the juices will be flowing tomorrow, as it were. No use trying to force the issue. So... good night, I guess? We'll try it all again in the morning.

6TH NOTE: Okay, one thing...

My new office has a cafeteria. How weird is that? It's like being in the 5th grade again, except for everyone is better dressed and way more concerned about carbs. The pizza's much tastier than I remembered, though. I guess that's to be expected. "Important" business people need good food to power them through their "important" business stuff.

7TH NOTE: I used quotations to indicate sarcasm. I don't really think their business stuff is important. Ha! Take THAT, businesspeople!!!


Anonymous David said...

Maybe the Blue is draining you creatively, ask for a new goddamned cubical right now, I didn't even crack a smile at that post. Tell your boss I hate him and punch him in the nose for moving you. If your boss is a girl, uh well I don't think I can write what I am thinking.
What kind of pizza?

10:30 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...


10:34 AM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

We have a cafeteria too, which is convenient in gross weather like today, but isn't very good. Today I got breakfast there for the first time in the 2 years I've been working here, and contrary to lunch, breakfast in the cafeteria kicks ass! Yes I WILL have an egg and cheese and maybe some oatmeal with brown sugar please!

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree, lousy post.

11:47 AM  
Blogger stew said...

i liked this post. so there.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I miss how the New York Deli used to have an oatmeal bar.

[Like a salad bar, but for oat-y goodness].


3:15 PM  

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