Sunday, August 26, 2007

The ZFS! Guide to Anniversary Gifts, pt. 3

[The guest series keeps on rollin', this time with a gift idea for the ladies. Clint placed a huge responsibility on my shoulders when he handed me the keys to ZFS! for the weekend, so I'd like to thank everyone for using coasters, and for not breaking that priceless crystal egg on the mantle. Now if we can just ask all the prostitutes to leave, and find out who the hell invited all those prostitutes in the first place (Miles, I'm looking at you), I'd really appreciate it. --Braden]

#3: The Vacation ... From Hygiene

When you asked him what he wanted this anniversary, he said simply, "Surprise me!" Well, I can absolutely guarantee he won't be expecting this. Because this year when he wants to get intimate, he'll be heading for "Where the Wild Things Are".

Suggested Areas to Neglect:

- Teeth

- Pits

- Ears (bonus points for each actual earwig sighting!)

- Your Bathing Suit Area

- Nooks (see also: Crannies)

[Tomorrow: Part The Fourth]


Blogger Kim & Dic said...

I would seriouly like to start neglecting my nooks and my crannies as well as my buttered and jellied areas for that gift ever I think...homeless people know whats going on with that kinda stuff

11:33 AM  
Blogger Braden said...

Hoboes* do indeed know more than we give them credit for (i.e. best brands of baked beans, which railroad underpasses to avoid, whether to use a square knot or a sheep shank to secure your bindle, etc).

* Note: My understanding of the homeless comes primarily from early 20th century men's magazine joke books. I am ignorant.

1:21 PM  
Blogger Kim & Dic said...

I knew a homeless guy once...when he was done being 'homeless' on the 1 train every morning he went back to his apartment in the same building as mine, and lived on a higher floor and in a corner window....

2:24 PM  

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