Tuesday, August 28, 2007

And We're Back...


I'm back from vacation!!!


Who's excited to see me?!?! Don't worry, I'll answer for you: Everyone!!! You've all missed me so much, you've started cutting yourselves just so you'd feel something other than the crushing loneliness that comes with an absent C-dog!!! Well put down that razor blade and pick up a smile... I'm back, babies, and I'm never going away again. Until the next vacation. Or until the I eat a bunch of Chinese take-out and wash it down with a few cocktails and am then much too logy to make it to the computer. Or until I just don't feel like it anymore, preferring the company of the good folks at Mythbusters to the general goodwill of my blogger buddies.

But other than those examples, I'm here to stay. Ish.

So, first things first, a couple of "thank yous" need to be handed out like so many participation ribbons at a sixth-grade Field Day...

...To Braden, for pinch-hitting for me while I got my State Fair on. He did, as I'm sure we'll all agree, a spectacularly funny job. Some of you even though that he was... dare I say it... funnier than me??? Well, I don't know about that. I mean, how does one quantify who's funnier than whom? Humor is so subjective, I don't think there's any way to actively gauge our individual comedic merits anyway, and besides, Braden and I are old friends who aren't in direct competition with each other, nor will we ever be.

...To the large, Austin-based goon named The Fist, whom I hired to beat the funny right out of Braden in a back alley behind a porno theater. NO ONE IS FUNNIER THAN ME!!! YOU HEAR ME, YOU SKINNY BASTARD?!?! YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF!!!

...To the true fans of ZFS!, who would never even think of forsaking me for another. Especially since they all know that I keep The Fist on retainer and he's more than willing to fly anywhere in the continental US to give people heapin' helpin's of "what for."

Now, let's look onward to the future. I'm sure you're all just dying to find out how the New York State Fair treated me, so take comfort in the knowledge that I've got two big posts planned for this week that should detail everything you want to know. As long as "everything you want to know" is limited to "what I ate and what horrifying carnival rides I rode." Otherwise, you're shit out of luck, because that's all I'm a-writin' about.

So yeah, be on the look-out for those soon.

And I guess that's it for the moment. I'm working the late-shift at the office tonight, so I'm going to go lounge around the house for another couple of hours before I have to put on pants. More this afternoon, because I'm got to get myself back in the bloggin' groove.


Blogger Braden said...

Not the face! NOT THE FACE!

9:09 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Welcome back!

9:35 AM  
Anonymous David said...

‘bout time you came back I was just throwing the rope over the shower rod. The posts went downhill faster then the little Rascals on their ten rascal derby car. Then it came crashing to a halt like Sony Bono on the expert slope.

10:04 AM  
Blogger NYCPonderings Chick said...

where is the state fair, I always picture it to be a bunch of donkeys and goats and yarn weaving events or something, i dont know...I guess I will wait to find out...

11:06 AM  
Blogger lioux said...

¡Hola, Clinton!

Welcome Back. I think I cried a little while you were away.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Braden... If you didn't want to be hit in the face by a large man with many, many scars, you should have thought about that before you brought your A game. Am I right, people?

Jeff... Thanks! It's good to be back.

David... Er... Okay. Well, thanks, I guess. Stay away from the shower rod, though.

NYCPonds... It's in Syracuse. And there were many farm animals, many of which Girlfriend and I gave names to and discreetly poked. Which isn't as dirty as it sounds. OR IS IT???

Lioux... Let the healing begin.

12:32 PM  

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