Monday, July 30, 2007

Today In Useless Crap



Yes, that's a Swarovski Crystal-covered Hello Kitty. No, I don't know why. I do know, however, that the person who buys it deserves at minimum a swift kick to the neck, followed by a wedgie so intense, it causes them to vomit up a nard. Even the little girl standing behind it, who's the target audience for shiny cats if ever there was one, thinks the whole thing is bullshit. You can tell by the look on her face that she's seriously considering taking that sparkly piece of crap down with a flying, full-body tackle and for that, I commend her.

Now, the question I pose to you, my impeccable-taste-in-fashion-and-music-having readers, is this: What the fuck is up with the Swarovski company and their need to slap crystals all over everything? Cellphones, iPods, skulls, anything worn by a rapper... it's like they're slowly trying to take over the world, one rich asshole at a time. Which I guess, as far as global domination efforts go, is pretty smart. Rich assholes are the ones that know where all the bodies are buried, as it were.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Because they know stupid people out there with the money to spend will buy the crap and think they are hot shit because the common folk can’t afford to buy it and most would probably have the common sense not to waste their money on it.
Question for you Clint: If you had a million dollars would you buy gem encrusted underwear or beer?

10:40 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Had I a million dollars, I would by neither. Nothing gem-encrusted, as it's not my style.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worry about the pacifiers with these thnings on it...I mean, babies can choke on these things, right??

11:17 AM  
Blogger stew said...

um, so does that mean you guys aren't coming to my Bedazzler party?

11:21 AM  
Blogger lioux said...

I like shiny things.

And Bedazzlers®™©™.

11:48 AM  
Blogger dmbmeg said...

I so wish I had a Bedazzler right now.

One of my friends did this with her phone ala Paris Hilton. I promptly then made her swallow the thing whole.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i would love to mock the world for it's love of all things hello kitty, but i can't. i own the HK vibrator. little gift from my japanese ex-roommate. she loves me.

i once bedazzled the mouse that i use at work. like...yesterday.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did the umm, HK vibrator make you purr?

1:04 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I've always been partial to Hello Pitbull myself.

4:09 PM  
Blogger blythe said...

i do have a bedazzler! and a glue gun! and a label maker! party at my house.

5:21 PM  
Blogger stew said...

yeah, party at blythe's house! really, really sad and kind of weird party at blythe's house!

I'll bring my flask.

5:59 PM  
Blogger quin browne said...

wow, i haven't bought my daughter anything for a wedding gift yet, and now, i simply..wow.

8:58 PM  

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