Today In Useless Crap

Yes, that's a Swarovski Crystal-covered Hello Kitty. No, I don't know why. I do know, however, that the person who buys it deserves at minimum a swift kick to the neck, followed by a wedgie so intense, it causes them to vomit up a nard. Even the little girl standing behind it, who's the target audience for shiny cats if ever there was one, thinks the whole thing is bullshit. You can tell by the look on her face that she's seriously considering taking that sparkly piece of crap down with a flying, full-body tackle and for that, I commend her.

Now, the question I pose to you, my impeccable-taste-in-fashion-and-music-having readers, is this: What the fuck is up with the Swarovski company and their need to slap crystals all over everything? Cellphones, iPods, skulls, anything worn by a rapper... it's like they're slowly trying to take over the world, one rich asshole at a time. Which I guess, as far as global domination efforts go, is pretty smart. Rich assholes are the ones that know where all the bodies are buried, as it were.