The Keg Update
Holy shit, I totally forgot to give you kids an update on the current contents of the anniversary keg that Girlfriend bought for me.
Yeah, it's empty.
Tapped.
Spittin' nothing but air and a little foam that only serves as a reminder of what once was. I'm proud (or, rather, "worried about my alcoholism") to say that I was able to drain that sucker dry in just a little over twelve hours. Not straight through, of course... had to take time out for a nap, and for us to go have our tasty, anniversary dinner at Melt.
But still, the fact remains: I took care of 5-liters of beer in less than 24 hours.
A proud day for me and my family? Unquestionably.
Are you all jealous of my drinking prowess? Of course you are.
Does anyone know the number of the nearest Betty Ford Clinic? Anyone...?
Yeah, it's empty.
Tapped.
Spittin' nothing but air and a little foam that only serves as a reminder of what once was. I'm proud (or, rather, "worried about my alcoholism") to say that I was able to drain that sucker dry in just a little over twelve hours. Not straight through, of course... had to take time out for a nap, and for us to go have our tasty, anniversary dinner at Melt.
But still, the fact remains: I took care of 5-liters of beer in less than 24 hours.
A proud day for me and my family? Unquestionably.
Are you all jealous of my drinking prowess? Of course you are.
Does anyone know the number of the nearest Betty Ford Clinic? Anyone...?
posted by Clinton at 5:57 PM
3 Comments:
The keg was a sign of her love for you. And you drank her dry.
Look at the bright side. Next year she knows she is going to have to buy you a full size keg to keep you satisfied.
Betty Ford will actually cure you of your drinking.
I would go to Promises Malibu.
They're like totally lenient on the drink/drug binge thing.
They even have a shuttle to take you to Hyde.
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