Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Here's A Picture Of Multiple Hemingways

NOTE: This is from a Hemingway look-a-like contest in Key West, FL. The fact that it was held at a place called Sloppy Joe's Bar should in no way diminish the sanctity of an event such as this, which features many, many bearded men getting drunk on rum. Thanks to Braden, as usual, for doing the research that I'm unwilling to do.

Discussion Questions

-Can we assume that the guy with the large, dinner plate-ish thing around his neck has been declared the winner? And if so, can it also be assumed that he's the saddest man alive, ever, even when you take into consideration the homeless and the various men in the world who have no legs?

-Anyone else get the impression that any one of these guys could, without hesitation, give you directions to the best weed in South Florida. And the final destination would almost always be, "the greenhouse in my back yard."

-Can you imagine the thick cloud of "beard funk" that's hanging around that bar? even today, the place still smells like Old Spice and last night's vomit.

-Why don't they have Tom Wolfe look-a-like contests? All those men in their snappy white suits... that's a photo opportunity just waiting to happen. Come to think of it, why hasn't their been a C-dog look-a-like contest? Bunch of fat guys standing around, being sweaty and drunk... granted, I'm not a famous author and, yes, anyone who looks like me would more than likely step in front of a bus than actually own up to it, but still. Let's make this dream a reality, people!

NOTE: The person with the most correct answers will receive a signed copy of "The Sun Also Rises." It will be signed by me, but that shouldn't matter. Also, I'm not really giving away a copy of "The Sun Also Rises." But hey, if you win, I'll... eh... I dunno... you can have the privilege of buying me rum or something. Oh, and if you lose, you're going to be on the bad end of a few burly bear hugs from the above pictured gentlemen.


Blogger Jeff said...

1. Actually the Hemingway look-a-like contest is just a cover for this group's annual Satanic sacrifice and weenie roast. The man with the plate around his neck gets to eat first.

2. Weed? That's for God-damned hippies. For this group, its nothing but opium.

3. I'd rather not imagine anything that foul smelling.

4. I'm sure their is a Wolfe look-a-like contest, however, staying true to character, they all can't be bothered to be photographed.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Mr. Shain said...

they do have a Tom Wolfe look alike contest in Oklahoma every fall. Blythe's mom has won the last three years.

3:41 PM  
Blogger stewpid said...

looking at this picture made my clitoris shrivel up and fall off. Who do I sue?

3:45 PM  
Anonymous highonmoxie said...

1. the guy with the plate thing on his neck is actually about to serve up a big, steaming batch of penis (which is being waved about, triumphantly) on said plate. no news yet on who will consume it.
2.the guy on the far right resembles the film teacher from my old which case, he could TOTALLY tell you where the good shit is. and it's in thailand. in his backyard.
3. yes. oh ew.
4. i don't think that tom wolfe would really be okay with the look alike contest...he'd probably get pissed when the first person showed up and said, "where's the fuckin' fried chicken?"

3:50 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

They look like a bunch of mall Santas in Boy Scout gear to me.

3:56 PM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

1. The fact that he's the winner makes him a loser.

2. Correction: "The Greenhouse that I live in."

3. Ew, and they probably had all kinds of bits of food stuck in the beard. Zoom in on the picture, I'm sure you can spot it.

4. If the prize were beer instead of a lame medal and mini statue, I would TOTALLY compete in the C-dog Look-Alike Contest. And I would win that shit too, despite the fact that I look nothing like C-dog. Actually, bring back the mini statue. I want that too.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel like I work with a lot of women who could all enter an Anne Rice look alike contest...shudder!

5:16 PM  
Blogger Hex said...

If you look very closely, you'll notice that one of the guys in the back of the group is Tom Wolfe.

..First chance he gets he's gonna clock the winner dude over the head with a drumstick and steal the big dinner plate thing.

5:17 PM  
Blogger blythe said...

@stewpid - i suggest you sue mr. shain.

oh yes, i could totally win the c-dog looki alike contest. totally.

5:54 PM  

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