Today In Horrifying, Intentional Eye Trauma
Ever seen a guy with a tattooed eyeball?
Well, now you have.
Aren't you thrilled? Or are you just so close to puking that you've got a look of excitement about you? Personally, I'm bunked down squarely in the latter camp; I have "eye issues" anyway, so seeing something like this, where a guy has repeatedly had needles jammed into his ocular cavity in an effort to give the whole thing a blueish tint, gives me a case of the screaming willies so powerful it threatens to put a permanent kink in my spine.
I mean, seriously... yeesh. My suggestion for this gentleman, whom I'm sure is very nice in person and not at all addicted to, say, crystal meth, is the that next time he feels like being "kooky" and "out there," he consider sticking to a nice, old-fashioned Prince Albert.
Like our forefathers had.
NOTE: Thanks to my boy Dan for sending this in and making me nauseous. Because that's what you do for friends. There's more here if you'd like to know exactly how they went about dying this dudes eyeball blue. Be warned, though: It's way gross.
NOTE 2: If you're curious as to what exactly a Prince Albert is, and you're not at, or even anywhere near, work, feel free to click here. It, too, is way gross. And very penis-y.
Well, now you have.
Aren't you thrilled? Or are you just so close to puking that you've got a look of excitement about you? Personally, I'm bunked down squarely in the latter camp; I have "eye issues" anyway, so seeing something like this, where a guy has repeatedly had needles jammed into his ocular cavity in an effort to give the whole thing a blueish tint, gives me a case of the screaming willies so powerful it threatens to put a permanent kink in my spine.
I mean, seriously... yeesh. My suggestion for this gentleman, whom I'm sure is very nice in person and not at all addicted to, say, crystal meth, is the that next time he feels like being "kooky" and "out there," he consider sticking to a nice, old-fashioned Prince Albert.
Like our forefathers had.
NOTE: Thanks to my boy Dan for sending this in and making me nauseous. Because that's what you do for friends. There's more here if you'd like to know exactly how they went about dying this dudes eyeball blue. Be warned, though: It's way gross.
NOTE 2: If you're curious as to what exactly a Prince Albert is, and you're not at, or even anywhere near, work, feel free to click here. It, too, is way gross. And very penis-y.
posted by Clinton at 12:45 AM
24 Comments:
Nurse! I'm gonna need a pair of equally stupid blue contacts and 200mg of time travel for this guy, stat! Let's move, people!
Time travel wouldn't work on this guy because, if there's one thing you can say about someone who's getting their eyeball tattooed, it's that they're intensely committed. He'd be all, "Oh, we went back to before I had my eyeball tattooed? Bummer. Well... what to do... hmmm... yeah, I think I'm going to stick with getting my eyeball tattooed. That worked out well the last time, if memory serves."
I did the lasic surgery, but that's about as far as I can go with cutting or poking my eyeball. And CERTAINLY not for cosmetic reasons! If I'm going to mess with my eye like that, I better have Superman X-ray vision or something.
Worst.
Tattoo.
Ever.
I mean BLUE?! C'mon now.
"Hey Smurf®™©™ Eyes!"
I would've gone with something a little more tribal, myself.
...And one of my ExBF's was a body piercer AND did his OWN Price Albert!
Body Modification is cool. To a point.
Clint on your note #2, 99% of the people that read this blog do it at work.
i works at a prince albert factory, so it's all good.
Ross... Even the Lasic surgery stuff freaks me out. Though if I could get the X-ray vision, I might, MIGHT, go through with it.
Lioux... Not my thing, though I guess I can understand the appeal. I REALLY can't imagine doing your own Prince Albert. Fucking ouch.
David... I know. That's why I said "Don't check this link at work." I guess I don't see your point.
Blythe... Awesome, can you pick me up a few spares? Got a big weekend planned.
He should've tattooed his eyes red.
That way when he's sick of them he can just use some Visine®™©™.
this is like oooohhh.....pretty, except it's eeewwwww.....gross
-Jew
I think the blue eye goes very nicely with the symbol on his forehead.
Huh, Dune fan maybe...
Does everything he see look blue? As in affecting color? I'm worried about clicking on the more into link 'cause it might make me hurl. at work.
although anything labeled nsfw just makes it all the more tempting.
ok, ew.
Thanks for the gross penis-y warning. I will look when my breakfast is a little further past. Or not. I gross out easily.
Back to Tat Boy -- I want to date him so I can say, "my ex had blue eyes. No, I mean REALLY: blue eyes." Date him or pick him our of a murder lineup. Either way.
Isn't this what Michael Jackson did for THRILLER?
Awww, thanks for adding me to the blogroll!!!!!!
Obviously watching baseball has fried more brain cells than all your drinking as you said “and you're not at, or even anywhere near, work, feel free to click here.” If I knew how to bold I would bold “and you’re not at”. Obviously with the vast majority of people reading it are at work, all you are doing is tempting them. BTW, when did baseball get rid of the cheerleaders?
ok this might actually be grosser than the baconator
i really, really want to know what he does for a living. besides grow pot in his basement. i mean, where do you go that people aren't horrified by this? how can anyone take you seriously? did the universe stop spinning? or start? whatever it does when i'm not looking?
WHO DOES THIS? and more importantly, WHY? WHY? WHY?
p.s. the prince albert is gross too, but not nearly as vomit-inducing. both are tied in actual pointlessness.
Ok, I must be a freak, because I kind of think his blue eye[s?] are cool.
I would have gone for orange or red though so that you could really freak people out.
Also, I have always thought about getting a Prince Albert, but my concern is urinating. Does it make the stream turn in to a spray?
Couldn't he have just eaten some spice from Dune and got his eyes to go that way?
ok, well, just the comments about the Prince Albert are making me really not need to go look at the Prince Albert link, so thank you, commenters, for saving me from looking.
did anyone read this caption on the wiki article?
"A curved barbell type Prince Albert piercing with uneven ball size"
heh... uneven ball size...
Heh. Heh. Mr Shain.
I totally caught that too.
I read ZFS! when I'm not at work, but only for the articles.
let me just say this, in a clear (ha!) concise manner...
ew.
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