Saturday, April 04, 2009

Plugging For Friends: iPhone Edition

Ah, the iPhone. A marvel of the modern age. Technology all POW up in your grill like an electric daydream where science and magic meet cute at the party of a mutual friend (he spilled salsa on her shirt, then she tried to drown him in the punch) and are now so in love and weddings and trips holding hands and happiness... so much happiness it leaks out of them and messes up rugs... so sticky...

What was I talking about...?

Oh right, iPhones. They are neat. I assume, anyway; I don't have one. No, they're a little out of my budget. Instead, I've been making due with a cellphone that I believe began it's life as a hand-cranked walkie-talkie from the Vietnam War. It's the size of a party sub and the reception is like trying to shout over a rock concert made of static, but... hey... it gets the job done. Sort of. Oh, and it doesn't take pictures, but if you're willing to sit still for three hours, it WILL sketch out a nice caricature for you. Usually it's pretty pornographic. My phone has a lot of problems.

Anyway, I bring up iPhones because a very good friend of mine has, along with her husband, designed an iPhone "app" (that stands for "application," or possibly "Applebee's menu") that I am... for lack of a better phrase... helping to shill.

My sweet lambs, I give you Don’t Dial!... the iPhone's premiere "drunk dialing" prevention system. I'll let the makers themselves tell you how it works...

When you left for the bar, you had no intention of emailing your boss, texting your ex, or calling your crush.

Then someone ordered tequila shots.

Now you can avoid the drunk dial temptation by blocking certain contacts before you go out.
DON'T DIAL lets you lock out those dangerous numbers for up to 24 hours. Don't worry: As soon as you're sober, they'll re-appear in your phonebook.

You can also opt to make a friend into your "designated dialer," and let them set a password for the evening.

Hangovers are hard. Don't Dial is easy:

-Pick all of your usual suspects from your contact list.
-Choose a block: use the timer, or have a friend enter a password.
-Go out, knowing you're safe from embarrassing drunk dial incidents!
-The next morning, run the app again to unlock everyone.

Genius? Yeah, pretty much. So what are you waiting for??? Go... clicky-clicky the above link... buy the "app" today!!! You'll be helping out good people AND you'll avoid making a fool out of yourself because you can't hold your liquor. Oh, and if you don't buy this iPhone application, I will shoot an orphan baby. And nobody wants to see me shoot an orphan baby. Especially the orphan baby. The orphan baby has leukemia, just so you know.

So you'd better buy Don't Dial!

NOTE: If you do not own an iPhone, you should go buy an iPhone. Actually, buy two and send your ol' pal C-dog the spare. Then we can ALL have Don't Dial! and no orphan babies have to die.


Blogger Todd said...

If I had an iPhone, I'd totally get that. I need to avoid drunk-texting.

5:31 PM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

if i had an iphone...why in the fuck would i have my boss or ex girlfriend's number in there???

10:40 AM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

I'd like an iphone app that doubles for my garage door opener.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Where was this last month!?

Ha ha.

9:53 PM  
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