!!! INTERNET !!!

I'm happy to report that this post is being written from the comfort of my own home (where I'm in my boxers... ladies) and NOT in the smelly, dumb, gross library for weirdos as has been the case the last couple of days. Yes, my internet... she has returned, weeping, knowing that to leave me was a wrongheaded, quasi-tragic move. I played coy at first, but eventually my emotions got the best of me and I took her back into my waiting arms. Or, rather, my waiting laptop, but whatever... basically the same thing..

Anyway, all is forgiven and we can now put all this ugliness behind us.

More later! (maybe!)

NOTE: It turns out one of the wires up on our roof had shorted out due to water damage. Which is great because I was afraid this whole thing was caused by me peeing on the modem the other night.

2ND NOTE: The view from our roof is pretty unspectacular, as it turns out. Though now I know how to get away from the cops, should they ever find out about my liquor stills. A daring rooftop escape!!! Which will end in me falling to my death!!! Bathtub gin for sale!!!