Hey kids... bad news for all of us, I'm afraid.

Well, you know, not BAD news... more like "seriously inconvenient" news. Annoying news. Irritating, rasping, like fingernails-on-a-metaphorical-chalkboard news. News that is, unquestionably, fucking lame. It is this:

My internet has died. Don't know why, don't know how to fix it (buh-lieve me, I've tried), am now having to wait for the Time Warner Cable repairman of truth and light to arrive on Wednesday and show me where the whole thing has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

That's the bad news for ME. The bad news for YOU, my little lambs, is that due to this offensively terrible fact, I'm going to have to suspend the blog for the next couple of days. I know, I know... it's like you've been shot in the face with a bullet made of hate and it exploded all AAAAAHHHH MY FACE, YOU SHOT ME IN MY FACE!!! I know, and I'm really sorry to have to do this to you. But, eh, I don't want to spend all my time at the library (homeless people use the computers there to look at porn and it, the whole experience, smells) and I don't want to spend a million billion trillion dollars at Kinkos, either. Just not posting for a couple of days is really my only option.

However, you never know. I've still got to check my email every now and again, so maybe while I'm doing so, inspiration will strike.

Until then, and until further notice, I will see you when the internet returns! I love you all!!! (Biblically)