Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Sore

Woke up all sore this morning. Like, my neck and shoulders... my skeleton in general... not sure what's going on. I haven't really done anything that smacks of physical exertion in the last couple of days. Girlfriend and I took a long walk yesterday, true, but that's hardly the same as moving a large sofa bed up five flights of stairs, say, or brawling with drunken bikers behind a tavern. So I don't know. Maybe I slept wrong? Perhaps I've taken up nocturnal yoga (which isn't a euphemism for sex, so don't get any ideas)? And I suppose there's every possibility that Girlfriend as taken to pummeling me with a length of sawed-off pool cue in the middle of the night as retribution for my many, many annoyances. But if the latter were the case, wouldn't there be bruises? Hang on, let me do a cursory exam...

It appears that currently, I am bruise free. Although I'm now getting some odd looks from my fellow office workers for performing said cursory exam at my desk. I chose to strip down completely for the sake of thoroughness and I stand by that decision. Okay, yes, maybe I could have taken my business to the men's room... that might well have been the prudent course of action, seeing as how it appears some "good Samaritan" has called building security... still, though, there's nothing wrong or evil about the human form in all it's glory and if I have to go to jail to make that point, then so be it. Although I will admit that the nude cartwheels might have been unnecessary given the definition of the word "exam." The pelvic thrusts, too, probably weren't called for. Go ahead and lump my floor-length crab walk in there, as well.

Well, anyway... the mystery remains. Of my soreness, I mean. Perhaps we'll never figure it out. Or perhaps my time behind bars will give me the proper solitude and perspective needed to really think this through. However, I fear that the roughness of the prison bunk and/or my cell mate's affections might only cause to exacerbate my physical maladies.

Ah well... here's to prospect of unforeseen adventure! Life, I'm ready to greet you with open arms!!!

Be careful of my neck, though. It hurts like a bitch.

5 Comments:

Blogger Lioux said...

Maybe you should apply this to where you're sore.

9:24 AM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

You probably just slept wrong. Do some light stretching when you get home, and you should feel better in the morning. If it's really bad, pop 2 advil.

And yay for a long walk yesterday! That's a really good step in your fitness goal (you know, if you're still pursuing that).

10:46 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Lioux... I feel that, based on their commercials, it would only make matters worse.

Brooklyn... I *am* still persuing my fitness goal, thank you very much! Five pounds lost thus far and far less cheating than I would have expected. As for the general soreness... I scammed a coworker out of some Tylenol. Feeling a little better.

11:26 AM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

Mazel Tov! That's really incredible!!!!

5:52 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

Congrats buddy! Keep up the good work!

11:37 PM  

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