Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Yes, kiddos, that day which we never dared dream would arrive is finally, blessedly here. Magical douchebag David Blaine has... I can barely type this, my hands are shaking so... broken the world record for holding ones breath!!!


Omigod, it feels just as good as I'd hoped it would. He held his breath for, if my sources are correct, a gajillion minutes and is now some sort of land-fish that fights crime. My sources are on a lot of medication right now, but I think they're basically accurate.

Anyway, let the feasting and dancing begin!!!

NOTE: David Blaine just appeared in my cubicle and said, "thanks for the kind words." Then he made all my problems disappear with a single kiss! I said it once, I'll say it again... SQUEEEEEEE!!!!


Blogger Lioux said...


I think I just did a cartwheel.

3:08 PM  
Anonymous David said...

You have to wonder why with someone that can float in midair took so long to break the world record for , ho hum, holding ones breathe.

Was this Oprah's way of preparing the world for Tom C's return to the sofa? I wonder????

3:42 PM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

he had previously held his breath for a record of 16 minutes but that was because he got caught in between the suffocating ass cheeks of oprah whilst kissing her fat ugly ass!

i want to beat david blaine to death with the fat bloated rotting corpse of oprah winfrey!!

i wish doug henning would make a comeback and make both of these ass clowns disappear by making them burst into flames!

4:24 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Lioux... You and me both...

David... Yeah, you'd think he could have busted this one out by now. Magical powers, hmmmm????

Jason... Oookay, no more Red Bulls for this guy! Waitress, check please!!!

4:35 PM  
Anonymous David said...

Uh, forget about that e that somehow jumped into my last post.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

Davey gave you a kiss because you looked sexy in that last batch ICFC pictures.

7:43 PM  

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