Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Wake Up, People!

I know that we as a society have become desensitized to a lot of things and, generally, I think that's just fine. At the end of the day, it beats living in the Joseph McCarthy, "Everyone is a Communist" era, no doubt. But... um... sometimes, I think maybe it's okay to freak out a little bit. Things do happen on occasion that warrant a worldwide crazy-go-nuts panic. Things like... oh, I don't know... THIS!!!

Kids, it's a meteorite that fell from the sky, and now the people that live where it landed are sick!!! DID NO ONE SEE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD?!?!

I can only assume that these sick individuals are like seconds away from turning into brain-thirsty zombies and Peru isn't so far away from the United States, if you catch my drift.

NOTE: Is Peru far away from the US? I don't know, nor do I have the desire to look it up. Someone be so kind as to answer that because how freaked out I get, specifically, will depend on how far away from the Zombie Apocalypse's jumping-off point I currently am.

Anyway, my point is, we've got to be better about keeping up with zombies and zombie-related events that are happening on our planet. We don't want to be caught unawares because, believe me, one minute you're chilling out on the stoop with some friends, enjoying a nice glass of iced tea and discussing the previous evening's baseball scores, and then suddenly the next minute you're running for your life because the reanimated corpse of your old high school teacher just ate your best friend. It can happen that fast.

So eyes open, ZFS!-kateers. I would really hate to be the guy doing the "I Told You So" boogie while everyone else's screams are drowned out by the chewing sounds of a million undead ghouls.

You've been warned.


Anonymous Giggleloop said...

Are they all growing green fuzz on them, like Stephen King did in Creepshow? *shudder* Sucks that they got the bad disease-causing meteor, rather than the superhero-baby-from-a-faraway-exploded-planet-inside kind.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Citizens Of Peru said...


9:53 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Giggleloop... Omigod, gigantic, super-freaky, mega-big bonus points for the Creepshow reference. Awesome. Totally want to see that again.

Peruvians... See, this is exactly what I was talking about. (sigh) I'll get the shotguns.

10:02 AM  
Blogger stew said...

I'm kind of meh on the whole brain-eating zombie thing, and yet I'm still pretty worked up about the badly staged shots of the Sopranos cast on the Emmys.

My values are fucked. I blame my parents.

10:22 AM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

I see the Zombie plan. They will use Macchu Picchu as their headquarters (i.e. fortress) while they plot the destruction of the world.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Just Saying said...

Peru is our big northern neighbor just a hop away. Jeeze, where did you go to school at to not know that.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Irish and Jew said...

Speaking of zombies, how funny is "Shaun of the Dead" Hot Damn i love that movie


11:37 AM  
Blogger d said...

it's either zombies or 'tommyknockers'.

or, maybe superman has finally arrived.

12:06 PM  
Anonymous David said...

What about the Blob! It could be a giant noxious mass or petroleum jelly that will start rolling around and getting people all yucky. I wanted to say yicky but I was not sure how to spell it.
It would then be cool if the Blob covered the bar Clint was in and he had to figure out how to kill it.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Jonathan T said...

I can totally see C-Dog standing on a car and flaming tire, chainsaw in hand, with girlfriend clinging to his leg as the legions of undead claw their way towards his Guinness.

12:45 PM  
Anonymous highonmoxie said...

did i detect a grindhouse reference? marry me?

dude. fucking run from those bastards. this shit is SCARY.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Stew... It's just that kind of attitude that's leaving us, as a nation, open to a zombie attack. Hope your happy, future-food-for-the-undead.

Brooklyn... You're giving them way too much credit. There's no fortress, there's no plan... it's just wave after wave of clawing hands and gnashing teeth.

Just Saying... I think you're thinking of Australia.

Jew... Who doesn't? Anyone who doesn't like Shaun of the Dead is a Communist.

D... I'm a big fan of King's books, but Tommyknockers was terrible. My opinion, of course. One of the only novels of his that I couldn't finish.

David... Oooh, good call! I'm still thinking zombies, but The Blob is definitely my back-up. Also, killing The Blob is easy. Blob hates cold. Throw ice at him. The end.

Jonathan... Oooh, the things you say!!! How sad is it that I'd TOTALLY be cool with all of that happening?

Moxie... Can you believe that I, of all people, actually DIDN'T see Grindhouse? I don't know what happened; I was really excited about it, totally wanted to go, and then for some reason... didn't. Such a jackass, me.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous David said...

Blobs are only killed by cold in the movies not in real life. Come on get real stop wacthing so many movies.

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Giggleloop said...

If blobs are only killed by cold, then I guess C-Dog couldn't just toss his Guinness on them, huh? Hmm.

OOH, I get bonus points? What can I redeem them for?

I should never ever answer the phone at work while reading blogs again -- I just answered the phone "Mississippi Valley Regional Blood House, this is Becky." Blood house? (I was reading the word Grindhouse) *headdesk*

2:31 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...


In Night Of The Living Dead it was a satellite that fell to earth, not a meteorite.

At least they didn't get turned into red pixie dust like in Night of the Comet.

2:47 PM  
Blogger stew said...

can I just point out that this post and its associated comments have me laugh out loud more than possibly anything ever? Oh, hang on, there's an undead hand clawing at the door. BRB.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Cray said...

Meteor shit!

4:31 PM  
Anonymous David said...

Night of the comment never made sense to me. You can survive spending the night in a metal shed or the lead lined room of the movie house after getting banged by your boyfriend who get turned into zombie food, but the scientists in an underground bunker get zombieitus.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous David said...

Niether did the Night of the Comet

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Giggleloop said...

I still quote Creepshow to my husband all the damn time, btw. "I'll be goddamned if that ain't a meteor." Man, why Stephen King didn't act in more movies, I'll never know. :P

9:54 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

David - Yah, usually it's the people who do have sex, that get killed in horror/sci-fi flicks.

3:25 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home