Friday, September 14, 2007

Here's A Picture Of An Instuctional Book On The Art Of Juggling

Discussion Questions

1. Is there a hobby out there sadder than juggling? I mean, it's basically masturbation without the exciting finale. And, for real, could you possibly think of a better way to waste more of your own time than tossing various objects in the air and trying to catch them? At least with stamp collecting, there's a chance you could sell your collection and make some bank. Juggling, though? Your only reward is never being sexually desirable again. No one wants to cuddle with a juggler.

2. That being said, I should probably point out... for the record and all... that I, C-dog, do in fact know how to juggle. I mean, I'm not prepping an audition tape for Cirque Du Soleil (that you know of), but still. Knowing this, do you think the above unwarranted attack on juggling enthusiasts is an act of self-loathing flagellation, or do you think I'm just a big hypocrite who's unbelievably attractive?

3. Dave just has to have the creepiest basement ever, right? Look at him... stare into his glassy eyes and tell me that he doesn't have an ominous room down a hidden stairway that would fit right in with the set design from the latest movie in the Saw franchise. His crawlspaces are filled with the answers to the question, "Have You Seen Me?"

4. Okay, hypothetical... let's say you meet a nice guy or gal in a bar and, after a few drinks, you decide that you would like to see them naked. So you go back to his or her house, drink a little more, and then, finally, you have yourself some sex. The next morning, you wake up and your guy or gal is totally chill about it, even offering to make you some breakfast. Things are going great until... as you're wandering around the apartment, the smell of cooking bacon in the air... you notice this book on his or her shelf. It's dog-eared, clearly well used, and it's sitting next to what appear to be hand-crafted juggling balls that clearly cost more than his or her stereo system. What do you do? Besides feel so dirty that you don't think normal showers will ever make you feel clean again, I mean.

NOTE: The person with the most correct answers gets to never think about people who juggle "just for fun" ever again. The person with the most incorrect answers, however... well... Dave's having a slumber party. He wants you to bring chips, a fun board game, and to tell no where you're going or when to expect you back. Dave says it's easier that way.


Anonymous highonmoxie said...

1. I'm pretty sure that there are sadder things out there than juggling, such as collecting belly lint, entering liver and onions eating contests for a living, and having a toenail clipping fetish. But. You know. Different strokes.

2. Duhvs. Self-loathing. Because it's SO IN right now.

3. *whistles*

4. I don't think it'd matter, really, because i'm that hot. You can't really top that.

10:13 AM  
Blogger stew said...

1. not even remotely.

2. attractive JUGGLING hypocrite.

3. yes

4. honestly? I'd be so thrilled about the sex and bacon that little else would matter. I'm cheap that way.

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Charlotte said...

Haha! He looks like one of my roommate's friends. Who can juggle, now that I think about it. Creepy.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Cray said...

1)Recreational Yodeling.

2)I didn't understand the question.

3)Guys like us get such bad press these days...

4) PIE!

1:21 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

1. Collecting Lederhosen.

2. Both.

3. I've seen creepier.

4. Steal their juggling balls.

8:07 PM  

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