Thursday, July 12, 2007

UPDATE: Your Daily Dose Of Maturity

UPDATE: MSN still has that graphic up. Like, you'd think someone would have mentioned to them by now that everyone in America is laughing at their unintentional dick joke and that... you know... maybe they might want to put something else up there that isn't burdened with so much innuendo. Unless they really are trying to get everyone who visits their website to think of penises. But if that's the case, it seems like it'd just be easier to put up a picture of some dude's dork instead of being all sneaky about it.

Whatever. Also, penis boobies vagina butt fart. Thanks!


I was all set to tell you kids the story of how I just watched a small girl spectacularly barf during this morning's subway ride. It was a fine tale; gripping, taut, and with a strong protagonist (Me) who ultimately learns from the experience a valuable lesson (don't stand next to small girls on rocky trains who are eating sandwiches of questionable origins). I would have told you this story and we'd have laughed together like old friends, after which we'd have cried some healing, bonding tears and then possibly all gone out for ice cream. In short, it would have been a magical morning for us all and, quite possibly, it would have been the first step to making this world a better place for mankind.

But I can't tell you this story now.


Because MSN decided to run a graphic on their news page today with this headline:

Sorry, but stuff like this takes precedence over any story I could possibly tell, no matter how amazing it may or may not have been (it was totally amazing, just so we're clear). And if you fail to see the humor in this unfortunate use of the surname "Wang" in proximity to the word "up," then clearly you and I are two people with nothing to talk about, ever.

Heh... "Wang."

Other MSN Headlines Not Pictured:

-Johnson Named Head Nurse
-Wieners Taste Good In Nation's Mouths
-Shiny, New, Dick Building Erected
-Law Firm Of Boners, Dong & Penis Now Swollen With Clients
-Hot, Throbbing Cock. No News... Just Hot, Throbbing Cock

Anyway, so there's that. Glad to have it all out of my system. Oh... and in case you were wondering... I am in fact the most mature person on the planet. It's true, I have a certificate and everything. The certificate is printed on a picture of a lady's hoo-ha!!!

NOTE: Just so I don't leave you in suspense or anything, when the girl puked on the train, it looked exactly like this:


Blogger that girl said...

When I got into the office and saw that headline, I immediately IM'd it to a coworker...I could hear her giggling down the hall. We're pretty damn mature here, too.

9:54 AM  
Blogger lioux said...

I Love, Love, Love being up with the Wangs!

And I must see this new "Shiny, New, Dick Building Erected"!

You know. For the architecture.

9:55 AM  
Blogger that girl said...

I'd like to see it too. For the architecture. Because the idea of a shiny penis unnerves me for some reason.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to say, I hired the Law Firm of Boners, Dong & Penis and I just got screwed.

10:30 AM  
Blogger quin browne said...

i once had to do the paperwork for one business to take over a system for another business...because a co-worker kept leaving the room, causing great distress between the two parties.

her reason?

mohammad pussae was selling his business to phock dong.

yeah, we had some great times with that one.

10:55 AM  
Blogger Braden said...

One of the greatest professional challenges I've ever dealt with is trying to keep a straight face while conducting a political survey with a guy named Velvet Johnson.

11:04 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

That Girl... Glad I'm not the only one who's basically a thirteen year old in Health class.

Lioux... Understandable. It's on the corner of Vagina St. and Butthole Pkwy, right near Giant Titties Avenue.

Playing Ugly... I've heard they're very HARD to work with.

Quin... Phock Dong is delicious!

Braden... For the rest of my life, will you please call me Velvet Davis?

11:12 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That made my day

11:16 AM  
Blogger lioux said...

I'm totally LOLing out loud right now!

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was excited to be in the running for that add, unfortunately they decided to go with Wang because they said I wasn’t big enough. So you see in some things size does matter no matter what they tell you.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Annie said...

It was a Baconator, wasn't it?

11:26 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Midwesterner... I do try.

Lioux... As you should be.

Long Duk Dong... You're Asian TO THE EXTREME!!!

Annie... I wouldn't be suprised. Although I do think I remember seeing some egg in there. And then on the floor of the train. Yeesh. I'm having flashbacks like a Nam vet.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Was the little girl eating a live crab, black chicken sandwich on the train?

11:54 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Shiny New Dick Building

12:10 PM  
Blogger that girl said...

the MSN article is so bad that my boss, one of the shareholders of the company, actually sent around an email with a screencap and "LOL" in big blue letters.

see? even right wingers have a sense of humour every now and then.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Jeff... You know, I'm not positive. I'll try to CSI the train on my way home.

Big Daddy... that's more like the Shiny, New Butt-Plug Building.

That Girl... Nothing unites the divide between the Right and the Left like a good dick joke.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Braden said...

Braden... For the rest of my life, will you please call me Velvet Davis?

A "Velvet Davis" is actually a variation on a "Famous Davis", just European and way illegal.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who noticed the word crabs in conjunction with the Wang article...hee, hee.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I'm pretty sure it was intentional.

They could have easily used Changs, or Chins.

It reminds of this article.

1:24 PM  
Blogger blythe said...

no one in my office knows why i am laughing out loud at nothing

2:16 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

Huh huh.
On a related note, GUESS WHAT, I'm leaving Naked Man Magazine™! And the state! And civilization! And all that is normal and good!
I'll still freelance for NMM, though.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is totally ridiculous!!! that words like Generic Viagra, penis, vagina can't displayed, what's wrong with this people, are words totally naturals.

12:35 PM  

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