Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Words Are All I Have To Take Your Heart Away

-"From the moment I saw you there, standing in the rain, missing a leg and wearing a barrel held up by suspender straps, I knew it'd be you and me forever."

-"Kiss me now, quickly, before the waiter notices that we didn't leave a tip."

-"The way your eyes sparkle, it's like I've set them on fire while you slept, sound and secure in the knowledge that the man you love would never in a million years set your eyes on fire. Well you were wrong, weren't you?"

-"My tests came back negative. Okay, mostly negative. Look, the point is, I love you."

-"I feel so close to you, like I've known you my whole life. Well... known of you. Like, a doctor or something told me about you at birth and I've always had kind of a vague idea of you, but I've never really known what you were all about, exactly. Until now. Honestly, I thought you'd be taller."

-"Finally, darling, I think we can really begin to communicate. Openly, honestly, and without the walkie-talkies."

-"We'll always have this moment, my love. And hopefully I can obtain a copy of the tape from that security camera to post on my website; that way, we can relive this moment forever, as can the rest of America for only 9.95$ a month."

-"You're the most important person to me in the whole world. I mean, not counting the surviving members of the Bee Gees, of course."

-"I'd walk a thousand miles through the driving rain, just to kiss your sweet lips. But no more than a thousand miles. Fuck you if you think I'd walk more than a thousand miles for one lousy kiss. Who do you think you are?"

-"Are you legal? No? Well, can you keep a secret?"

16 Comments:

Blogger lioux said...

OMG!!!

We should start a greeting card company, Clinton.

I'll design them and you come up with the sayings.

12:12 PM  
Blogger d said...

totally. my favorite is the 'not counting the last surviving members of the Bee Gees, of course.'

12:38 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Lioux... Totally, but only if the cards can also make fart noises when they're opened.

D... Thanks, dude. I figured I should pay tribute to the brothers Gibb since I was ripping off one of their songs for my post title.

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your blog, but you are just TOO weird sometimes.

Not saying that as a bad thing.

3:12 PM  
Blogger that girl said...

...various fart noises, of course, right C? You can't have one fart noise - you have to have many fart noises to really get the emotions across, in an "a fart is worth a thousand words" kind of way.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

That Girl... See, this is the kind of thinking we need on our production staff. You've got a future in fart noises, kid!

3:26 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

OMG.

You guys need to go here.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Oops. I mean here.

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who doesn't get this? Because I feel like it, and I hate that.

4:30 PM  
Blogger that girl said...

That's me! Specializing in fart noises since 1986...and beyond!!

4:48 PM  
Blogger DrunkBrunch said...

"My tests came back negative. Okay, mostly negative. Look, the point is, I love you."

My response would be:
"Listen. I'm only a little bit pregnant. And I'm pretty sure you're the daddy."

4:57 PM  
Blogger Ross said...

Trust me, I couldn't respect you any less after we sleep together. I don't have a lot of respect for you now. In fact, I'm just talking to you because I think you're easy.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

-"My tests came back negative. Okay, mostly negative. Look, the point is, I love you."

By far my favorite of the bunch.

I should suggest that line to patients who get back 'mostly negative' results.

10:31 PM  
Blogger blythe said...

-"Are you legal? No? Well, can you keep a secret?"

that one's a lot easier in theory. trust me.

10:53 PM  
Blogger that girl said...

I think that my version of that line would be more like, "...trust me, I'm just talking to you because I'm easy."

heh.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

-"You're the most important person to me in the whole world. I mean, not counting the surviving members of the Bee Gees, of course

I think this is a perfectly reasonable statement.

9:41 AM  

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