Words Are All I Have To Take Your Heart Away
-"From the moment I saw you there, standing in the rain, missing a leg and wearing a barrel held up by suspender straps, I knew it'd be you and me forever."
-"Kiss me now, quickly, before the waiter notices that we didn't leave a tip."
-"The way your eyes sparkle, it's like I've set them on fire while you slept, sound and secure in the knowledge that the man you love would never in a million years set your eyes on fire. Well you were wrong, weren't you?"
-"My tests came back negative. Okay, mostly negative. Look, the point is, I love you."
-"I feel so close to you, like I've known you my whole life. Well... known of you. Like, a doctor or something told me about you at birth and I've always had kind of a vague idea of you, but I've never really known what you were all about, exactly. Until now. Honestly, I thought you'd be taller."
-"Finally, darling, I think we can really begin to communicate. Openly, honestly, and without the walkie-talkies."
-"We'll always have this moment, my love. And hopefully I can obtain a copy of the tape from that security camera to post on my website; that way, we can relive this moment forever, as can the rest of America for only 9.95$ a month."
-"You're the most important person to me in the whole world. I mean, not counting the surviving members of the Bee Gees, of course."
-"I'd walk a thousand miles through the driving rain, just to kiss your sweet lips. But no more than a thousand miles. Fuck you if you think I'd walk more than a thousand miles for one lousy kiss. Who do you think you are?"
-"Are you legal? No? Well, can you keep a secret?"
-"Kiss me now, quickly, before the waiter notices that we didn't leave a tip."
-"The way your eyes sparkle, it's like I've set them on fire while you slept, sound and secure in the knowledge that the man you love would never in a million years set your eyes on fire. Well you were wrong, weren't you?"
-"My tests came back negative. Okay, mostly negative. Look, the point is, I love you."
-"I feel so close to you, like I've known you my whole life. Well... known of you. Like, a doctor or something told me about you at birth and I've always had kind of a vague idea of you, but I've never really known what you were all about, exactly. Until now. Honestly, I thought you'd be taller."
-"Finally, darling, I think we can really begin to communicate. Openly, honestly, and without the walkie-talkies."
-"We'll always have this moment, my love. And hopefully I can obtain a copy of the tape from that security camera to post on my website; that way, we can relive this moment forever, as can the rest of America for only 9.95$ a month."
-"You're the most important person to me in the whole world. I mean, not counting the surviving members of the Bee Gees, of course."
-"I'd walk a thousand miles through the driving rain, just to kiss your sweet lips. But no more than a thousand miles. Fuck you if you think I'd walk more than a thousand miles for one lousy kiss. Who do you think you are?"
-"Are you legal? No? Well, can you keep a secret?"
posted by Clinton at 11:28 AM
16 Comments:
OMG!!!
We should start a greeting card company, Clinton.
I'll design them and you come up with the sayings.
totally. my favorite is the 'not counting the last surviving members of the Bee Gees, of course.'
Lioux... Totally, but only if the cards can also make fart noises when they're opened.
D... Thanks, dude. I figured I should pay tribute to the brothers Gibb since I was ripping off one of their songs for my post title.
I love your blog, but you are just TOO weird sometimes.
Not saying that as a bad thing.
...various fart noises, of course, right C? You can't have one fart noise - you have to have many fart noises to really get the emotions across, in an "a fart is worth a thousand words" kind of way.
That Girl... See, this is the kind of thinking we need on our production staff. You've got a future in fart noises, kid!
OMG.
You guys need to go here.
Oops. I mean here.
Am I the only one who doesn't get this? Because I feel like it, and I hate that.
That's me! Specializing in fart noises since 1986...and beyond!!
"My tests came back negative. Okay, mostly negative. Look, the point is, I love you."
My response would be:
"Listen. I'm only a little bit pregnant. And I'm pretty sure you're the daddy."
Trust me, I couldn't respect you any less after we sleep together. I don't have a lot of respect for you now. In fact, I'm just talking to you because I think you're easy.
-"My tests came back negative. Okay, mostly negative. Look, the point is, I love you."
By far my favorite of the bunch.
I should suggest that line to patients who get back 'mostly negative' results.
-"Are you legal? No? Well, can you keep a secret?"
that one's a lot easier in theory. trust me.
I think that my version of that line would be more like, "...trust me, I'm just talking to you because I'm easy."
heh.
-"You're the most important person to me in the whole world. I mean, not counting the surviving members of the Bee Gees, of course
I think this is a perfectly reasonable statement.
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