Here's A Picture Of An Awesome Old Man
Discussion Questions:
-Seeing this kind of makes you want to tell your Granddad to get with the program, doesn't it?
-Have you taken into consideration that if this old fart falls down while busting an Ollie, he'll probably break like a thousand bones? That fact makes this exponentially more bad ass, no?
-Anyone else get the impression, based on the crowd's somewhat "Ain't no thang" reaction, that this dude's there every day grinding rails and showing all the thirteen-year-olds how they did it back when "skateboarding" was called "just fucking around with this wheelie-plank my best friend Archie made?"
-You know this guy's got the best record collection you've ever seen, right?
-When I'm old like Skater A here, I'm going to spend most of my days in a shitty, stinky bar that's covered in old boxing photos and serves beer and whiskey in mason jars that look like they were cleaned at some point in the early 90's and that was about it. I'll still eat lots of chicken wings and I'll threaten to kick the ass of anyone who tries to sit on my stool while I'm on one of my many, many trips to the bathroom. I'll smell like Old Spice and anyone who wants to can see the scar from my quadruple-bypass. I'll be cranky, drunk and hilarious, but I fucking won't be skateboarding, because that's a young man's game and really I'd rather let the liquor kill me than a blow to the head when I fuck up a frontside kickflip. Who's with me?NOTE: Use a #2 pencil. Oh, may God help you if you don't use a #2 pencil... (shakes fist). If you get all five questions correct, you'll be exempt from the final exam at the end of the semester. And by "final exam," I of course mean, "Schlitz beer chug-a-lug contest." So if that's the kind of thing you want to be exempt from (Communist), then by all means get every question right.
2ND NOTE: More awesome old men here and here, in case you missed them.
posted by Clinton at 6:33 AM
8 Comments:
- Yes. If I had a Granddad.
- WAY more Bad Ass.
- I'm TOTALLY sure he's there every day.
- His record collection MUST be bad ass.
- [?]. Okay.
I heard Tony Hawke is in his 40's now, are you sure that is not him?
Wow, okay we would definitely have to come up with a cool Grandpa name for him...if this guy has grandkids, I think that they should call something like, Sarge, Duke, Frank or Creed.
1. Yeah, now all I need is Haley Joel Osment to go tell him. Since he's, you know, dead and all.
2. hahahahahahah YEAH
3. I thought they were more like, "c'mon, I gotta get to my vo-tech class in an hour or my juvy officer's gonna put me back in that group home."
4. yah.
5. I am so there!
I think smelling like Old Spice when you're an old man is kind of wishful thinking. I'm pretty sure it'd be more a mixture of Poligrip and death. Not that I go around sniffing old dudes.
Lioux... We should rob him for his records.
Midwesterner... I heart Tony Hawk. Dude's the bomb. I had all his video games.
Gal Gotham... I'm going to vote for "Shredder." Not only is it in keeping with his hobbies, it's bad-assiest nickname I can think of. Also, it's the bad guy in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which, if we're talking about the old comic books, is awesome.
Stewpid... I'll save you a seat. We can harrass the bartender and monopolize the jukebox. You CAN carry me home, right? Because I'll be a mess every night.
Blythe... Ha, ha! Blythe smells old dudes!!! That's what you were trying to say, right?
What does cause 'old-man smell'?
All I know, is I am going to try my darndest to prevent it from happening to me.
Oh, and I'd let him borrow my other nickname: Buzzsaw Pete.
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