Other People
This came up last night and it's kind of in step with what we've been talking about off and on the past couple of weeks, so I thought I'd share:
We were drinking at this bar in Arlington that I don't really like. It's crowded, everyone seems to be having fun (which is annoying), and it's divided up into six or seven separate rooms, which makes it kind of like getting drunk at the house of some random dude who happens to have several pool tables and a proclivity for inviting over old skanks. Anyway, my buddy Scott and I were discussing the fact that I don't like said bar and he said, paraphrasing...
"You just don't like it because there are people here."
I started to take offense to that, but then I realized that that's actually entirely correct. If the whole place was cleared out and it was just me, I'd be one pleased alcoholic. It's not the place I don't like, it's the fact that the place is filled up with other people. I don't know when that happened; when I became such a hateful, anti-social, semi-agoraphobe. I used to not care about that sort of thing. Suddenly, it's all I care about, or at least to a degree. Maybe it all started when I went back to waiting tables. Dealing with the general public in a service industry capacity will certainly deaden parts of your soul. No question about that.
And I know we've joked about me hating everyone here in the past, but it was really just that... jokes. But to have to brought out in the real world... to make it an actual thing and to realize that I actually do feel that way... I don't know, it was kind of rattling.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it doesn't bother me that much. I like who I am for the most part and I tend to view my outlook on the world as more "cranky old man charming" than "loner slowly growing psychotic locked inside his own mind." Still, though.
Whatever, I guess. It was just kind of a weird moment.
We were drinking at this bar in Arlington that I don't really like. It's crowded, everyone seems to be having fun (which is annoying), and it's divided up into six or seven separate rooms, which makes it kind of like getting drunk at the house of some random dude who happens to have several pool tables and a proclivity for inviting over old skanks. Anyway, my buddy Scott and I were discussing the fact that I don't like said bar and he said, paraphrasing...
"You just don't like it because there are people here."
I started to take offense to that, but then I realized that that's actually entirely correct. If the whole place was cleared out and it was just me, I'd be one pleased alcoholic. It's not the place I don't like, it's the fact that the place is filled up with other people. I don't know when that happened; when I became such a hateful, anti-social, semi-agoraphobe. I used to not care about that sort of thing. Suddenly, it's all I care about, or at least to a degree. Maybe it all started when I went back to waiting tables. Dealing with the general public in a service industry capacity will certainly deaden parts of your soul. No question about that.
And I know we've joked about me hating everyone here in the past, but it was really just that... jokes. But to have to brought out in the real world... to make it an actual thing and to realize that I actually do feel that way... I don't know, it was kind of rattling.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it doesn't bother me that much. I like who I am for the most part and I tend to view my outlook on the world as more "cranky old man charming" than "loner slowly growing psychotic locked inside his own mind." Still, though.
Whatever, I guess. It was just kind of a weird moment.
posted by Clinton at 2:05 PM
7 Comments:
I am with you, on the going psychotic part. on the one hand I love people and on the other I hate em... its a cluster
This is a great article as they all are. I have been wondering wide this looking for some time now. Its gigantic to note down this info. You are objective and balanced.
Well first of all -- if Anonymous was at the bar, I would leave too.
I go back and forth with feelings like this. I think the thing is that we all have our ideas of what quality people are, and frequently when we're out among the masses -- we can't seem to find them.
Whether that's snobbery or selective blindness or whatever I don't know -- but it can be a frustrating process.
I don't know, man... I've always thought of my self as objective and balanced and it's nice to be recognized for that.
This isn't going to help, but I also think it's a natural part of aging. There was a time I could hang out with any number of anyones, but now large groups of mostly stupid people (over-generalization?) just piss me off.
I also agree with Don. It’s normal when you are getting older. I was talking to my girlfriend who was excited that she had 300 friends on facebook and asked me how my numbers were. I asked if we were back in high school and if I needed to be friends with everyone. She giggled and I had to remind myself that I am in my mid twenties and hitting her upside the head could cause trauma.
Give me a couple good friends who I can chill with at a bar, a friend who knows what songs I’d love to hear when in the car and I’m set. High School was the time when you were friends with people due to proximity. The gal I am now, would never be friends with someone for that reason. Then you leave home, go to university and met more people. I think the older you get the more people you weed out.
Its kind of like spring cleaning your cd/record collection. You keep some, you toss others, and some you hide under your bed. And in the end, you want to be with people who know you, get you and won’t spill their drinks on you. I’d take twenty good friends then 300 fluff friends. And I would rather be in a bar I like with a group of friends, singing to the music and not caring what others think. Although, if my guys could refrain from acting out the latest episode of Family Guy, I’d be ever so thankful ;)
Pretty sure one of the best nights of my life was when you, Todd, Ben and I were the only people at a bar in Brooklyn.
Although that might have been because we ordered delicious burritos...
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