Screaming Junior High Death Eagle of Death
This terrifying fucker was painted on one wall of the junior high gym where my stepbrother was playing a basketball game. Like... I get why it's there... the school's mascot is the eagle, clearly, and this is meant to be all, "We're big and strong and will tear you apart with our razor-sharp talons, GO TEAM," but c'mon. There's fronting for the sake of school spirit and then there's the kind of overkill that leaves both teams too scared to come out of their respective locker rooms. The must have to constantly be mopping up the fear-pee during regular season matches.
And I had taken on a few strong margaritas before I rolled up to the gym, so you can imagine how intense the whole experience was for me. This scary-ass bird combined with the squeaking of all those sneakers on a hardwood floor. Living nightmare, man. I could barely hold the camera straight, my hands were shaking so bad.
That might have been from the booze, though.
Nah, it was the eagle. That thing wanted to kill me bad, I could tell.
NOTE: The horror was mitigated slightly by the fact that the eagle has a clock where his eagle dong should be. His eagle dong let me know when I could get the fuck out of there! Thanks, eagle dong!!!