Friday, July 17, 2009

The Dawning of a New Era in ZFS! Entertainments

Oh my god, you guys...

Why the fuck didn't any of you tell me that working AND going to school was like getting gangbanged by a bunch of mean tornadoes in a rocket ship screaming towards the Sun? I've never... literally NEVER... been this busy in my entire life. Granted, for most the last ten years I've done everything in my power to avoid any kind of responsibility and, in doing so, have basically laid around drunk in a fart cloud for a decade, but still... BUT STILL.

As I've mentioned before, this busyness has precluded any sort of blogging. However, the winds of change are a-blowin' here in Arlington, TX. See, the thing is this:

I got a new phone.

A fancy fucking new phone all shiny like a robot right before it destroys a major metropolis. It does tricks, yo. It sends emails and has a touch screen and Tetris and it brings me fresh linens when I soil mine in the opium den and it makes a mean PB&J. But the BEST part about my new phone is that it's also a digital camera. And I can email those pictures directly to this blog! Or, you know, basically.

Soooooo... suddenly, it just got a whole lot sexier up in here! At least with regards to my ability to update ZFS! in a more timely fashion. There is, quite frankly, nothing particularly sexy about me or my situation this morning. My room, for one thing, might not smell great. Also, I'm wearing a pair of XXL running shorts that appear to be stained with last night's BBQ sauce. Not a metaphor. When I throw down on some ribs, the sauce be flyin'. Am I right, ladies???

Anyway, so yeah. I'm going to start taking pictures of things and posting them here and we can all have a big gut laugh together. Also, I've missed you guys. Not blogging has been totally gaybones.

But enough about me. Let's get a photographin'...

For the inaugural pic, I thought about taking a picture of a Texas flag waving stoically in the breeze, or maybe a high-quality shot of my ball sack, but in the end I decided to go all left-field on your asses and present you with this:

My Creepy Care Bear Bank

This is my creepy Care Bear bank. It's on a shelf in my room right now and it has about twenty dollars worth of nickles crammed up its butt. You can tell by the expression on its little fuzzy face that is NOT happy about the situation. When the moon is full, I'm pretty sure I can hear it climb down from its perch, jinglin' and janglin', searching for a serrated knife it can use to slice my Achilles tendons so I'll collapse like an imploding casino and then it can go to work on my face. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what happens. Creepy fucking Care Bear bank. And why has it stolen my remote?!?!
Yeah, so there's that. Blogging to recommence at a semi-regular pace, henceforth. It has been too long away and, let's be honest, the world needs me right now. I am happiness. I am the way and the light. I am... C-DOG.
Well I guess we're gonna have to take control
(all on our own)
If it's up to us, we've got to take it home
(all on our own)


Anonymous Scott H. said...

Too hot to handle, too cold to hold...

12:59 PM  
Blogger Cray said...

The creepy lighting adds to it...

3:12 PM  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

I need a phone that makes PB&J's --Looking forward to the happiness of Zombie FIghts Shark PICTURES!!!

12:00 PM  
Blogger Erratic said...

I've missed you - welcome back!!

Also - I feel the same way about Teddy Ruxpin. 80's toys (and toy related merchandise) are trying to wipe out the human race.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All this pic did was remind me of the Snuggle bear commercials from the 80s. Creepiest. Muppet. Ever.

Welcome back.


7:26 PM  

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