Nice Day
I don't know what it's like where you are, but sweet baby Jesus on a Razor scooter is it a fucking gorgeous day here in New York.
It's all sunny and cool in the shade and there's a breeze and the asphalt hasn't trapped in all of the sun's heat yet so we're not baking like Toll House Cookies in the industrial oven called Manhattan. It's sooooooo nice, you guys. I mean, doye, the horrible heat is going to show up soon enough and then they'll have to make a Daniel Day-Lewis movie about it called There Will Be Sweat and he'll win an Oscar but it will have melted and then his tears won't be from acting. They'll be real. And we'll all be like, "Thanks Mother Nature, you made a great actor cry like a orphan" and she'll respond by vomiting humidity on us until the world is a sauna and we're walking around like old Russian men in just towels and flip-flops, our collective junk on display like so many wrinkly kiwis.
Or grapefruits... ahem...
Look, my point: Right now, it's lovely outside. I'd like to find a bar with a patio and sit there with beers that never stop coming and a jukebox that plays only the songs I like and maybe some friends to keep my company, but if they couldn't show up, a book would be just fine too. Because guys who read alone at bars are all intellectual and mysterious and not scary nerds addicted to sadness at fucking all, YOU HEAR ME, EVERY GIRL IN AUSTIN, TX DURING 2001???
Whatever, I don't even care, I've got a girlfriend and she's AWESOME.
Anyway, I think this weekend... if the weather holds... I'm going to make a strong effort to think about possibly considering doing something outside, maybe. Like... um... walking? Or sitting on a bench? Or... something...
You know, I've got a lot of Netflix to get through... tell you what, you kids go do some outdoorsy crap and then tell me all about in detail so I can really feel like I was there. 1000 words and please check your spelling. Pictures would be a bonus, particularly if anyone is wearing a bikini. Chicks or dudes, not picky.
Thanks!!!
It's all sunny and cool in the shade and there's a breeze and the asphalt hasn't trapped in all of the sun's heat yet so we're not baking like Toll House Cookies in the industrial oven called Manhattan. It's sooooooo nice, you guys. I mean, doye, the horrible heat is going to show up soon enough and then they'll have to make a Daniel Day-Lewis movie about it called There Will Be Sweat and he'll win an Oscar but it will have melted and then his tears won't be from acting. They'll be real. And we'll all be like, "Thanks Mother Nature, you made a great actor cry like a orphan" and she'll respond by vomiting humidity on us until the world is a sauna and we're walking around like old Russian men in just towels and flip-flops, our collective junk on display like so many wrinkly kiwis.
Or grapefruits... ahem...
Look, my point: Right now, it's lovely outside. I'd like to find a bar with a patio and sit there with beers that never stop coming and a jukebox that plays only the songs I like and maybe some friends to keep my company, but if they couldn't show up, a book would be just fine too. Because guys who read alone at bars are all intellectual and mysterious and not scary nerds addicted to sadness at fucking all, YOU HEAR ME, EVERY GIRL IN AUSTIN, TX DURING 2001???
Whatever, I don't even care, I've got a girlfriend and she's AWESOME.
Anyway, I think this weekend... if the weather holds... I'm going to make a strong effort to think about possibly considering doing something outside, maybe. Like... um... walking? Or sitting on a bench? Or... something...
You know, I've got a lot of Netflix to get through... tell you what, you kids go do some outdoorsy crap and then tell me all about in detail so I can really feel like I was there. 1000 words and please check your spelling. Pictures would be a bonus, particularly if anyone is wearing a bikini. Chicks or dudes, not picky.
Thanks!!!
posted by Clinton at 1:22 PM
9 Comments:
OMG, Clinton! I just came in from outside.
It's so beautiful, I took off from work at 1:00 PMish to bask in the sun for while.
In my ZFS!®™©™ Thong.
Back to it!
Sassy!
Don't forget the Coppertone!!!
"the horrible heat is going to show up soon enough and then they'll have to make a Daniel Day-Lewis movie about it called There Will Be Sweat and he'll win an Oscar but it will have melted and then his tears won't be from acting. They'll be real. And we'll all be like, "Thanks Mother Nature, you made a great actor cry like a orphan" and she'll respond by vomiting humidity on us until the world is a sauna and we're walking around like old Russian men in just towels and flip-flops, our collective junk on display like so many wrinkly kiwis."
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"what I liked best was the part when you took me from just having a beautiful day outside to Daniel Day lewis crying and me walking around with just a towell and my junk hanging around like a wrinkly kiwi."
I like to cover a lot of ground in just a couple of sentences. It keeps my readers confused and, thus, easy marks from when I try to sell them Amway.
Speaking of, would you like to buy some Amway? We've got soaps!
read an article today about a guy in fort worth texas who accidently shot himself by using his revolver as a back scratcher.
not as cool as the skull bong but it's up there.
this has nothing to do with the weather. just thought i'd share that with you.
and in case you care...the guy didn't die.
72 degrees and sunny in Orono, Maine today.
That's a friggin heatwave up he-yah (here).
And thankfully...no grapefruits.
TFKoP
Jason... Now that I've checked to make sure the man in question is not my father, yes, I can agree that that's totally cool. Because this is totally something my father would do, and it's why we don't let him own a gun.
Tfkop... My girlfriend always tells me how gorgeous Maine is. Need to make it up there someday. See if it's as creepy a place as all those Stephen King novels make it out to be.
Drinking outside is the best part of summer.
@ Brooklyn Gal:
SUMMER?!?!!!
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