Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I Give Up


The cast includes Jamie Lee-Curtis (who should know better), Cheech Marin (because Chihuahuas are Mexican like him), Drew Barrymore (she's a stupid piece of shit, so obviously she's in this), Placido Domingo (he was tricked into thinking this was a tribute to Pavarotti), and Edward James Olmos (Stand and Deliver was good).

So yeah, that's pretty much it for me. I'm done. With everything; with movies, with society, with trying to write an entertaining blog, with attempting to make meaningful connections with other human beings, with living life in general. This movie, about a talking dog who's apparently a warrior or something in Southern California, has stomped to death the remaining vestiges of my will to carry on.

Whatever, Hollywood. What-motherfucking-ever. I hope you all die.


Blogger jason quinones said...

i'm guessing taco bell's gonna be all over this fucking shit.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

Was this written during the strike?

2:41 PM  
Blogger Braden said...


¡No Quiero!

2:42 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Jason... I'm sure. Either they're going to sue, or they're going to tie-in and we'll have to look at this poster for three months when we go to get our Grilled Stuft Burritos.

Todd... No I think it was written during a three-day meth bender.

Braden... No mas, no mas!

3:00 PM  
Anonymous J. said...

One of the worst things about this is that its defenders will say that it is harmless entertainment for kids. The fact that putrid shit like this is intended for kids just makes it worse. Child Protective Services should be using this steaming turd as a sting operation to catch wantonly neglectful parents.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Alienwhere said...

What the fuck is it with stupid movies having to show people how to pronounce their goddamned titles? First it was Ratatouille and now this.

I think if 99% of the demographic you're shooting for can't say the title properly, give the fuck up on it and make Snow Dogs 2: Icy Nutsacks In Training.

C-dog, I'm right behind you.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Heavy B said...

I really appreciate how they phonetically spelled out chihuahua for us.

6:20 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

Man, I thought meth would provide something a little more like Fight Club. Guess I'm never trying meth!

Next up: abusing blood pressure medications!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

J... If that's it's purpose, the government needs to come out and tell us so. Before I start fire-bombing theaters that show it.

Alienwhere... Hey guys, come see my new band, The Icy Nutsacks, performing live in my apartment!!! (it's really just me and our cat, but we rock pretty hard)

Heavy B... I wouldn't have had any idea what they were talking about otherwise, so I'm glad too!

Todd... That sounds like a fantastic idea! Let's wash it down with some Everclear-jacked NyQuil!!!

8:35 AM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

The pronunciation key is funny, especially because they are saying that the middle syllable is pronounced "WOW" which I have never in my life heard anyone say. Do they think writing the word "WOW" makes the poster and/or movie better.

In other news, "The Chihuahuas will rise Sept 26"?????? Are they Zombie Chihuahuas? This movie just went from stupid Disney film for tiny tots to super creepy horror film.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

Maybe it'll be in the "so bad, it's funny" category. Is it a Beverly Hills Ninja sequel? I'd totally see that!

12:22 PM  

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