Friday, April 10, 2009

What Makes This Friday So Good?

-It baked you a delicious ham.

-It earned all the badges required for Eagle Scout status when it was like twelve or something, plus it won a bunch of Pinewood Derbies.

-Low on funds? This Friday will buy you a beer. If you're really hard up, a bottle of your favorite booze (top shelf, no less) will arrive via FedEx with a note attached that reads, "The drinks are on me, buddy. Take care." He knows how important booze is to you. You lousy drunk.

-It knows all the words to "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" and isn't opposed to singing it for you in public, just for funsies.

-Cheez-Its were totally it's idea.

-It saved a baby from a monster this one time.

-They were going to cancel Seinfeld after it's first season, but this Friday told the NBC execs that maybe... just maybe... they should give it one more chance.

-It reads ZFS! everyday. (thanks, this Friday!!!)

-This Friday hates racism and once punched out a skinhead down in the Village who was picking on these two B-girls who were just trying to buy some Rakim singles from one of those sketchy booths that are always blasting rap music and manned by guys that look like a cracked-out Tommy "Tiny" Lister.

-With this Friday, you always come first, ifyaknowwhatImean!!!

NOTE: Yes, I am aware that this a repost from last year. However, I think it's message is even more true today, and that message is this: I am lazy and didn't feel like writing anything, and then I remembered about this post and thought, "well, fuck it... most of my readers are so drunk on bathtub gin, they won't even notice." So there you have it. Reruns!!!

2ND NOTE: If you thought this was a new post, then please ignore these notes. They are a hallucination caused by all that bathtub gin.

10 Comments:

Blogger Midwesterner in NYC said...

Don't forget "And it forced Mike to quit his job." (It really did, and I did)

2:35 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Nicely done, dude. They're going to change the name to Best Friday!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Jonathan T said...

I love you, This Friday!

3:53 PM  
Anonymous This Friday said...

I love you too, Jonathan. You're special (in the non-tard way).

4:42 PM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

This Friday does have a lot to do in order to redeem itself for that whole crucifixion and death of Jesus thing, but it did give me the day off. Thanks, This Friday!

9:49 PM  
Blogger Braden said...

Saturday? I gotta be honest: I'm still thinking 'bout Friday.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

Man, this Friday rules!

(Except for the whole Pinewood Derby thing. I never won one of those and it still bothers me.)

2:23 PM  
Blogger Lady Snark said...

What's sad? I immediately knew this was a repost. If that's not an indication that I have pretty much memorized your blog and am all but CRYING OUT for new material from the shark-fighting zombie, then I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. C'mon, dude. Put me out of my misery.

1:06 AM  
Blogger TFKoP said...

I love my delusions from bathtub gin. **hiccup**

4:20 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I once tried to make my own bath-tub gin out of Juniper berries from my backyard.

Didn't work out so well.

Making meth is far easier.

10:20 PM  

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