Friday, February 15, 2008

Love Bacon

As I've said in the past, I'm not a big fan of using this blog for public displays of the gloopy affection that Girlfriend and I feel for each other. I'm convinced that no one wants to read about how happy another couple is and I'm sure you'll all agree that that's the truth. So, bearing that in mind, I'm just going to present some evidence to you and let you draw your own conclusions as to the emotions, saccharine or otherwise, behind them.

For Valentine's Day, Girlfriend and I decided to keep things mellow. She had grad school class last night anyway, so it wasn't like we could go out to dinner, and besides, we're both aware that Valentine's Day is is a sham perpetrated on the general public by the greeting card companies and chocolate makers of the world. Not to mention the fact that money's tight; I'd love to buy her a snazzy pair of solid gold pants, say, or a private, heart-shaped island in the Caribbean where they've got Pina Colodas on tap and a cable network that runs the Travel Channel's Cash & Treasures show (her favorite) on a 24-hour loop but... alas... I am, as the French say, le broke ass.

My point is, for Valentine's Day this year, we decided it would be fun to just get each other some sort of funky, unusual candy. No Snickers, no Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, No Skittles, nothing you could find readily available in a Rite-Aid... we're looking for the fringes of the confectionery world here; hit me with your best, weirdest shot. So we headed off to find the oddest treats we could, completely unaware of what the other was buying.

Here's what we came up with:

I got her...

She got me...


That's right! We unwittingly had a bacontastic Valentine's Day, which, if I'm not mistaken, makes us the most awesome couple on the planet. Again, I'm not trying to be all "ooh, look at our relationship; doesn't it burn you with it's firey flames of we-totally-get-each-otherness?!?!" I just wanted to point out that great minds think alike, specifically when it comes to pork-themed candy products.

Oh, and as for the taste...

We haven't tried the bacon/chocolate bar yet; saving it for the weekend (but I'll keep ya posted).

The bacon mints are hilarious, but kinda gross. They really taste like bacon, but they also kinda sorta taste like plastic. It's really weird, though, because they look exactly like normal, everyday mints... smaller than Altoids, and all shiny and smooth... but it's like they substituted the peppermint oil for liquid smoke. I of course brought them to work to show off to everybody and the reaction from my fellow office-mates has been a unified "blurgh."

The gummi bacon was good; strawberry flavored and oddly thick for a gummi product. The weirdest part though (beyond the fact that it looks like a package of bacon) is that it leaves a film of grease on your fingers just like the real thing. Candy grease... can't get any better than that.


Anonymous Chris said...

Strawberry bacon. Mmm. That would go well with blueberry pancakes.

9:37 AM  
Blogger Midwesterner in NYC said...

OK dude, I just spit up water and laughed at my desk when I saw that happy pig face and the name "Uncle Oinker". Ha!

9:45 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Chris... I'm tempted to use it to create a horrifying BLT.

Midwesterner... I know, right? You can't beat a cartoon pig for pure entertainment value. Same goes for the word "oink."

10:20 AM  
OpenID giggleloop said...

What a bacontastic holiday! That's awesome. I was actually craving bacon last night on my way home. I therefore conclude that either a) I'm psychic, which would be awesome, but is unlikely, or b) some kind of bacony brainwaves were being broadcast across the globe yesterday by a mad scientist/world domination organization/bacon manufacturer, and only those truly food-sensitive peoples, such as we here in the ZFS!osphere, were able to pick up on them. *nods* Yep that sounds about right.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Makes sense to me.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Todd said...

I would fight a man for a bite of that bacon flavored chocolate.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I'm bringing the bacon mints to the bar tonight. I fuckin' DARE YA!!!

10:55 AM  
Blogger FitnessNerd said...

I've actually had the Bacon Chocolate. We saw in in Chicago, and we had to taste. It is surprisingly good, but I can't say you get an overall flavor of bacon. Oddly, it tastes nutty...

We all agreed that it would make some kick ass chocolate chip pancakes!

2:17 PM  
Blogger Braden said...

Tonight's Episode:

"It Came From SignificantOtherTown!"


"The Secret Ingredient ... Was Love!"

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg!u n u'r grl are freaking awesome! that was kick ass!!! ha. greasy bacon... bacon candy... the chocolate bacon made me cringe a lil.. but bacon mints made me grin. just kewl dude!

1:19 AM  

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