It Came From Chinatown...
Girlfriend brought this home from an excursion to Chinatown yesterday and we don't technically know what it is. Perhaps you can help us out:
Okay, yes, we know it's Green Green. It says so on the label. But even if it hadn't, we could have very easily deduced as much because the liquid inside the little, plastic bottle can only be described as "green green." In fact, it's very green green... alarmingly so. It's a color not found in nature, that's apparent; truthfully I believe it's a shade of green last spotted in the wardrobe of TLC during the early-90s, before they stopped wearing condom eye-patches. Where has Green Green been hiding? What secrets lie within?
The best that we can tell, it's plant food. "Green" is synonymous with plants, after all, and doubling up on the word can only mean that it's extra for-plants. Right? Also, the lone graphic on the bottle is vaguely floral. I mean, you could make an argument that it's actually a picture of a fat infant wearing a chest medallion from a "swords-n'-sandals" epic, but that's a bit of stretch. Honestly, I'm not even sure why you brought it up.
But what if it's not for plants. What if it's... I don't know... some form of liquid candy. Or dishwashing soap. Or a sample of irradiated drinking water like in Erin Brockovich? Oooh, what if it's an alien's blood and they come looking for it all pissed because, hey, that's their blood and they want it back??? Wouldn't that be awesome?!?! I'd get to fight aliens! Or more realistically, I'd get shot in the face by their crazy alien technology... still, though... what a way to go out.
Whatever, it's probably just plant food. Unless you guys have any better ideas? Because if we can't figure this out and it ends up killing Girlfriend's plants, I'm going to be mighty pissed. And then I'm going to have to have a long, stern talk with Chinatown about properly labeling their weird bottles of goo. And nobody wants that.
posted by Clinton at 9:08 AM
14 Comments:
Where in the store was it? What kind of other things was it surrounded by? That might be helpful in the determination of WHAT ON EARTH THIS THING IS!!
Green Green is people! You've got to warn everyone and tell them!
Dutchess... See, I don't know. I wasn't there at the moment of purchase. But, since it's Chinatown we're dealing with, I think we can assume that it was sold on the street out of a stall filled with stolen, tacky merchendise that's designed to seperate tourists from their money.
Hex... Naw, you're thinking of Soylent Green. Much darker in color, and delicious in a burrito!
Isn't that the liquid rumpelstiltskin drank to fall asleep for 20 years.
You're thinking of Ichabod Crane. Er... right?
It's a mini bottle of Absinthe?
And regarding the stern talking-to - you're wrong, I think everybody wants that.
Haha - Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years(also created by Washington Irving though!).
And Green green is so very obviously green kryptonite in liquid form.
ZFS - P.S. - MsgC*******.....
Giggleloop... Now you've got my hopes up. If I drink this and die from plant-food poisoning, you can expect the cops at your door.
Lynn... That's why my powers are gone!
GREEN GREEN GIVE MAX HAPPINESS FOR ULTIMATE LIVING! (TM)
Taste it, I dare ya! I hope it doesn't taste "gross gross."
SUPER HAPPY BRADEN... This dishonors my people.
Drunkbrunch... I only respond to double-dog dares. I am also open to any and all physical challenges. That sounds dirtier than I mean it to.
Asparagus pee?
My thought was Absinthe too, but even if it's not, it'll probably still make you hallucinate.
Well, I did give her said plant, so don't I kind of have the right to secretly murder it with poison disguised as plant food? I really think so. It's kind of like, if you have a baby, you have the right to kill it when it grows up and wants the keys to your car...
...or something.
-P
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