I Wish I Was In A 70s Rock Band

Because back then, you could be a lead singer no matter what, even if you looked like the kind of guy who sold speakers out the back of a van. And, if you wanted to, you could have Glam Dracula play circus calliope music on an electric organ during a live TV performance:



Or you could wear elaborate Native American headdresses but have your lead singer dress up like he was from outer space, all while singing a song with a chorus that's the national anthem from a small country in Nonsense-land:



Or you could just say "fuck it" and get so high that you think you're a romantic millionaire despite the fact that you dress like the Cowboy King of Garbage:



Now, being in a rock band is all about updating your MySpace page and being serious about wearing eyeliner and buying a solid gold car that's so expensive, it doesn't exist yet. Man, I wish I could travel back in time. And spontaneously gain musical talent. And grow a bitchin' mustache. Why does nothing ever go my way?