Let's Get Happy
After all the unpleasantness of yesterday, coupled with the general sense of "blah-ness" that accompanies the witch's-tit cold of January, I think it's fair to say that we could all use an injection of happiness and joy directly into our sadness buttocks. So, with that in mind, here's...
ZFS! Presents: "Cheer Up, Motherfucker," or, Seven Things To Be Happy About In This World Of Misery
1. You've still got your health. If you don't have your health, then at least you're not dead. If you are dead, AAAAAAAHHHHHH ZOMBIES!!!!
2. "Freakin’ at the Freakers Ball" by Dr. Hook (lyrics NSFW, but are awesome, so use headphones; if I could pick one, crazy-go-nuts hippie band to party with, it'd be these guys)
3. The Writer's Guild and the AMPTP are getting nearer to starting up talks again, which means that the long, national nightmare of no new House episodes might finally be over. Fingers crossed, kids! And lock the doors so they can't leave until it's all hammered out! Or until everyone's hammered!!!
4. I'm going to eat herring tonight at a fancy Scandinavian restaurant! Why should this make you happy? Um... doye, because you should always be happy for me when I do stuff. That's called the Blogger/Blog-reader agreement and it's practically like a law or something. But not a lame law, like "you have to wear pants in public." I was just trying to cool off my junk, dammit!!! And those Salvation Army workers were totally into it, I could tell.
5. USA!! USA!!! USA!!!
6. You know how you're at a bar, and it's kind of crowded, but not *too* crowded, and there's a really great song on the jukebox and everyone is drunk, but not *too* drunk, and you start singing along and then you realize that everyone in the place is singing along and for just a moment you're all connected as one voice calling out into the dark, inky void that is our existence on Earth? That's so cool when that happens. Particularly if it's a Peter Frampton song. Oooh, baby I love your way...!!!
7. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Then again, so was yesterday, and you didn't do squat about it. You sat there and watched American Idol and ate Cheez-Its. For shame! But it's cool, because a new day starts with every dawn! Life is a bowl of cherries! Buy war bonds! Breakdance with Jesus and sing out, Louise!!! PLATITUDES OF FAUX-CHEER!!! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!
ZFS! Presents: "Cheer Up, Motherfucker," or, Seven Things To Be Happy About In This World Of Misery
1. You've still got your health. If you don't have your health, then at least you're not dead. If you are dead, AAAAAAAHHHHHH ZOMBIES!!!!
2. "Freakin’ at the Freakers Ball" by Dr. Hook (lyrics NSFW, but are awesome, so use headphones; if I could pick one, crazy-go-nuts hippie band to party with, it'd be these guys)
3. The Writer's Guild and the AMPTP are getting nearer to starting up talks again, which means that the long, national nightmare of no new House episodes might finally be over. Fingers crossed, kids! And lock the doors so they can't leave until it's all hammered out! Or until everyone's hammered!!!
4. I'm going to eat herring tonight at a fancy Scandinavian restaurant! Why should this make you happy? Um... doye, because you should always be happy for me when I do stuff. That's called the Blogger/Blog-reader agreement and it's practically like a law or something. But not a lame law, like "you have to wear pants in public." I was just trying to cool off my junk, dammit!!! And those Salvation Army workers were totally into it, I could tell.
5. USA!! USA!!! USA!!!
6. You know how you're at a bar, and it's kind of crowded, but not *too* crowded, and there's a really great song on the jukebox and everyone is drunk, but not *too* drunk, and you start singing along and then you realize that everyone in the place is singing along and for just a moment you're all connected as one voice calling out into the dark, inky void that is our existence on Earth? That's so cool when that happens. Particularly if it's a Peter Frampton song. Oooh, baby I love your way...!!!
7. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Then again, so was yesterday, and you didn't do squat about it. You sat there and watched American Idol and ate Cheez-Its. For shame! But it's cool, because a new day starts with every dawn! Life is a bowl of cherries! Buy war bonds! Breakdance with Jesus and sing out, Louise!!! PLATITUDES OF FAUX-CHEER!!! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!
posted by Clinton at 11:38 AM
13 Comments:
#6 has never happened to me but once in the art room in high school we were all painting behind our easels and "Back on the Chain Gang" was on the radio and the "cool" teacher reached over at one point and snapped the volume down and from every easel you hear a muffled a cappella "ooh -- ahh -- ooh -- ahh!" because everyone was singing along. Good times.
The last time I tried to breakdance with jesus, he pulled out a bodacious airchair, and we lost the finals. I've never recovered.
What a I wouldn't give for a new episode of House. Le sigh.
Please tell me you're going to wrap the herring in bacon.
C'mon -- it's nature's candy!
Stew... That's cool, I guess. But I would have cracked his skull for turning down the jams during a group sing-a-long. Major group sing-a-long foul.
Cray... You got SERVED! By the LORD!
iieee... Tell me about it. I'm having withdrawls from not getting to watch a guy take Vicodin.
Hex... I think it's kind of a classy place, but I'll certainly try. I *do* always keep bacon on hand just for such occassions.
I wish #6 happened to me occasionally, it would bolster my faith in humanity a bit. Although knowing my luck, the sing-along song would end up being fuckin' "My Humps" or something equally atrocious. Ugh.
Singing along with anything involving the Black-Eyed Peas is the saddest thing you can do with your life outside of heroin and working at a strip club by the airport.
Damn Clinton, you crack me up -"the saddest thing you can do with your life outside of heroin and working at a strip club by the airport."
I hope one day to be able to come up with lines like those.
Aw, thanks! Everyone, see how nice iieee is to me? Be more like that.
I think I would be happier if I actually HAD eaten Cheez-Its last night.
That Dr. Hook video is hysterical!
Brooklyn... Cheez-Its are the way and the light.
Todd... Isn't it just the most, to say the least?!?!
Your number 6 about singing in the bar--that kind of happened when I was in NY for New Years. It was a few days after New Years, but everyone in the just-crowded-enough bar did a drunken midnight countdown anyway. I don't know if it was even midnight. Awesome.
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