Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Slow News Day

I recognize that something exciting doesn't happen every single day. I'm aware that, occasionally, a journalist will have to stretch to make a story seem relevant and interesting. And, yes, I've gathered that Britney Spears doesn't always flash her cootch or endanger her kids in a fashion timely enough for it to make the evening press deadlines. But even when all of that is taken into consideration, I still have to ask this question:

Do we seriously need another article on how the dinosaurs may have possibly become extinct?

And it's not like the above story was buried in the Science section... IT WAS ON THE FRONT PAGE!!! Or the "front page" equivalent of a website; you know what I mean. Look... C'mon, guys. At this point, in the year 2007, with a war overseas, and a global climate that's slowly heating up to the temperature of Starbucks coffee, does whether or not the dinosaurs got killed by a comet or a volcano really fucking matter? I feel the same way about this that I feel about those stories that Time and Newsweek run at least once a year that ponder, for 6,000 words no less, "What was Jesus really like?" (Answer: Nice!)

I'm sure that there are people out there that are interested in these topics (not me, of course, but some people) and, in the proper context, I can totally buy that they are, in fact, actually interesting. But that doesn't qualify them as newsworthy. Sorry, but it just doesn't.

Anyway, I'm done being all cranky. Just wanted to get that off m'chest. The fart jokes will resume shortly.


Blogger Cray said...

Perhaps Britney's cooch endangered the dinosaurs.

11:01 AM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

Haha, I read that story yesterday. But only because it was a slow day at work and the headline link was something about "Dinosaurs didn't die from a meteorite! It was something else far more exciting! Click here to find out why- it's what you're least expecting! It just may have something to do with aliens! Or it could be a secret government operation! Maybe they died from watching too much Dancing with the Stars! Just click here to see!" Then I did, and it was about lameass volcanos.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous David said...

That kind of article should be right up your alley Spewing volcanoes are more phallic than meteorites any day. Unless of course it’s two big meteorites landing right next to a massive volcano. Either way I must go find that story and read it so I can sleep peacefully at night knowing how the dinos died off.

11:45 AM  

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