Thursday, September 20, 2007

Worth Your Valuable Time

If either Ben or Jerry (hell, or both) are looking for a husky male sex-slave to do their awful, perverted bidding, as well as some light typing and general office work, I'd like to put in my application. I'd also like to mention that it would be perfectly acceptable to pay me for my duties exclusively in this new flavor of ice cream, which tastes exactly like a Cinnabon and makes me feel like a newly-arrived citizen of Delicioustown.

NOTE: Delicioustown is the capital of the great state of Tastychucettes, which is located squarely in the heartland of The United States Of Mmmm. Which, of course, is but one of the seven continents on Planet Yumtastic. Anyway, who's up for ice cream?



Anonymous David said...

I have to say sometimes I wonder about you.

10:44 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

What, David? What is it exactly that you wonder about me? Please, do go on...

10:56 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Is there anything Ben and Jerry can't turn into a delicious ice cream flavor?

12:14 AM  
Anonymous David said...

I wonder why a very talented somewhat cute writer like you would have to resort to being a sex slave for ice cream when because of your amazing talent you should be getting paid gazillions of dollars and would merely send some flunky stooge (maybe stew) to the store to get whatever you wanted with the thousand dollar bill you threw at him telling to keep the change because your great success as a writer has made it possible for you to have millions of those same bills lying around so many in fact that that is what you take to work to wipe your hiney with if of course you were still working there which obviously you wouldn’t have to unless it was to merely torment your bosses with being the most ineffective data input person in the entire world because you knew you really did not have tot be there because it only takes you a couple of hours to type out bestsellers so that is why I sometimes wonder about you and how unfair the universe is for not recognizing your amazing ability and amazing body. Does that answer your question?

12:52 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Jeff... The only dud I've EVER had from Ben & Jerry's was their "Movie Theater" flavor that had, like, popcorn pieces in it or something. That was just bizarre. Otherwise, no, they are golden.

David... Yes it did answer my question, albeit in the creepiest way possible. Dude, punctuation was invented so we don't all sound like a serial killer's diary.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Sally Tomato said...

I'm running to the store right now.

10:33 AM  
Anonymous highonmoxie said...

ah, boy(friend)'s favorite ice cream of the moment.


11:52 AM  
Blogger stew said...

I'm a girl. A flunky stooge girl. Thank you.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Stew... Not sure why David felt the need to bring you into his weirdness. Sorry about that; it's like being struck by the shrapnel of an exploding freak-bomb that was meant for me.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous girlfriend/pimp said...

Hey, David...If you want a piece of Clint it's $200 an hour.

Let's make a deal.

3:33 PM  
Anonymous David said...

$200 that's it???

4:01 PM  
Anonymous David said...

Sorry stew did not mean to offend.

4:03 PM  
Blogger stew said...

that's ok, I would love to be a flunky stooge. It would totally be a career step up. I don't mind. but I'm just kind of sensitive about being taken for a guy. On account of my flat chest and mustache and all.

5:15 PM  

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