Here's A Picture Of A Religious T-Shirt
Discussion Questions
-If I saw a guy wearing this from a long way off, I'd think, "Hey, there's a dude that knows how to party." As I got closer though, I'd realize that he's just a religious person who's trying to trick a drunk. Would it be allowable within our society's laws to give said t-shirt wearer a savage noogie? A swirlie, perhaps? Purple nurple?
-Do you think Evangelical Christians would have a problem with me writing "Drink Booze" on a bunch of crucifixes, even though it's the exact same thing that they're doing here?
-"Bloodwiser" would make a pretty awesome name for a Swedish black metal band, no?
-Remember those kids in High School who were always wearing t-shirts like this? They'd constantly try to get you to come "pray at the pole" with them before class, they'd give you static for reading Hunter S. Thompson books (even though that's what you're supposed to do when you're in High School), and then they'd get pissed off in English when the teacher showed The Simpsons version of The Raven because The Simpsons are "blasphemous." Fuck, those kids were annoying.
-This kind of religion, where that's all you're about all the time, has got to be just exhausting, right? Seeing people wearing these shirts, or building Baptist haunted houses, or protesting the funerals of soldiers... it all makes me want to take a very long nap.
NOTE: If you don't get at least three out of the five questions correct, you'll make the baby Jesus cry. And once that kid gets going, it's like impossible to get him to stop. The person who gets the most right answers will win an automatic admission into Heaven, which is a lot like your favorite bar, but with better food and a really great house band who's lead singer you could totally nail if you wanted to. The one with the most incorrect responses will be sent immediately to Hell, which looks suspiciously like a suburban McDonald's right after the end of Little League practice.
posted by Clinton at 8:16 AM
17 Comments:
Yea this is totally creepy!!
And who were these religious kids?! They sound like pussies!
-Jew
-Totally within our society's laws.
-Yes.
-TOTALLY!
-"blasphemous" = funny
-ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
I once saw a shirt where a buffed out Jesus was doing a push-up with a cross on his back. The copy said something along the lines of, "Lord's Gym."
I understand being religious. I understand being proud of your faith. I don't understand and loathe their need to wear shirts, listen to music, yell outside abortion clinics, hate on homosexuals, and just generally their nosy ways of butting into people's lives that they deem not sufficient.
What? Knowing you love Jesus and he loves you isn't enough? You have to make sure everyone else around you knows as well and also knows they won't be loved by Jesus?
So basically, what I'm saying is, stupid religious evangelicals.
The kids who prayed at the pole were LAME.
And I would totally go to a "Bloodwiser" concert.
See am I the only one who doesn't think this is a tee shirt that would be worn by a religious person?
I'm picturing some Hipster from Williamsburg sporting this in an XS size...they're all about the ironic t shirts, no?
No... this is not a hipster shirt. This is religious people trying to be hip.... there is a difference.
I will save you a seat in hell for this post, because even while amusing you have totally screwed yourself and damned everyone that reads it for putting this thought in their heads. Unless you run down to the local church and confess, no stopping at the bars on the way either. Or you could flagellate yourself and carry a cross on the subway and save all our souls. Or you can get drunk and forget about. I’ll let you chose what you want to do, as I don’t want to appear to be too judgmental.
Jew... Oh, they totally were. Although they were more just irritating than anything else. Was that just a Southern thing, or where there a lot of Jesus freaks up here in the Godless North?
Lioux... Blasphamy, Blaspha-you...
Chris... I've TOTALLY seen that shirt. Seen it a lot, actually; a very popular one at my high school.
BrookLyn Gal... Yeah they were. And they were pushy about it too. I can barely function at 7am, much less praise Jesus. Were I the sort to praise Jesus in the first place, of course.
Gal Gotham... I'd agree with you if I hadn't grown up where I did and seen so many "with-it" Christians wearing those as a ploy to trap kids into their sticky, sticky web of lies. As it were.
Midwesterner... Word.
David... Hell, shmell. I'll be perfectly happy to just rot in the ground.
I think there was a local band around here called:
Hung Like Christ®™©™.
I saw their sticker at some rock club.
clinton- besides Irish, i have never met anyone who gave enough of a crap about jesus to try to get me to convert... i guess it's a southern thing.
Or maybe it was me...?
-Jew
oh man, i love giving people static.
Big words from a man with a Virgin Mary nightlight in the bathroom.
...Does that make us ironic hipsters?
Yeah we didn't have kids like that in our high school of heathens.
The Christy T-shirts for Teenz that I am fascinated by are in the "Everything Butt" vein. That means the religious wearer does it in the pooper, "BUTT" not in the baby-making area, because that still leaves her a "virgin."
Strange world we live in.
Lioux... I always thought Christ was well-hung. (too much?)
Jew... Probably just a Southern thing. JC's real popular down there.
Blythe... Just in general, or specifically about religion?
Girlfriend... Hey, your Dad's the one who gave it to us, so don't blame me. Unintentional hipsterism isn't my fault.
Colleen... Whoa, whoa... what now? There are SHIRTS that say that? And do you have any of these girl's numbers? For...eh... research...
I gotta hand it to you Clint, anyone that can get this many comments from pooping and blasphemy I won’t send to hell because you would give too much enjoyment to old Lucifer. When you get here you should check out the all you can drink and not pass out bar we just installed.
I'll stick with my "Bukowski King of Poets" Budweiser themed t-shirt.
That bible book thing-a-ma-bob?
Totally out of context.
It's like the old-timey version of The Enquirer.
Don't believe everything you read, folks.
And stop using my name for your silly social crusades.
You're missing the point!
Don't make me come back down there.
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