Friday, June 22, 2007

Alcohol News

NOTE: C-dog had a bit of an evening last night and, thus, feels like hammered horse shit this morning. So, in keeping with that spirit, here's some alcohol-related items that should keep you entertained while he tries to remember the license plate number of the truck that ran him down. Worry not, though. He'll be back a little later once the coffee and bagel have worked their sweet, witchy magic on his brain and guts, respectively.

-A woman in Tacoma, WA was arrested for drunk driving with a blood-alcohol content of 0.50. Think about that... 0.50!!! That's over six times the legal limit (which is 0.08). Seriously, how are you even upright with that amount of booze coursing through your system, let alone able to operate a car? Anyway, she and I are having a Spring wedding and I can't wait for all of you to meet her! She's my drunken dream gal!!!

-Turns out, I have more in common with rats than I thought.

-Okay, this isn't technically drinking-related, but you have to know that there was some sort of alcohol present when a guy thinks, "Fuck this parking ticket. I'm sending them sumbitches some dog poo."

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drunk.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Are you calling me a drunk? Or do you just enjoy typing the word?

10:17 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Please let me know when and where your wedding will be held so that I can stay off the roads that day.

10:20 AM  
Blogger lioux said...

I, too, enjoy typing the word drunk.

Congrats on the engagement!

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure that was the best thing she could have done in blowing that .50 cause Clinton, your question is exactly on point, how are you upright if you have that much product in your bloodstream? and any jury will also grasp that and figure it was a typo, she must have blown a .05 whicch is actually UNDER THE .08 limit. At least thats How I would tell my lawyer to play it if I were in her position.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Jeff... Your "Save The Date" is in the mail!!!

Lioux... Thanks, dude. My parents are thrilled. Also drunk.

Bill From Gainsville... I'm going to go ahead turn my power of attorney over to you, if that's okay.

11:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While no doubt disgusting and quite nauseating, what are the odds that that woman actually got ill, $5000 dollar ill, from that poopvelope? *shakes head* What's the world coming to these days?

11:11 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I once had a blood acohol level of .27.

That was not a pretty night.

Let's just say it involved a trip to the ER, a neck brace, and being restrained to the bed.

Luckily I didn't have to get my stomach pumped.

[True story]

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clint not that I am judging you as I think everyone should have a hobby and of course writers are notorious drinkers, but maybe you could consider spending time in rehab. You could check in and be Lohan’s partner and make sure that she does not make forays into “gyms” to workout her gullet and liver. Just a thought, if you don’t like it I will throw your own advice back to you. Drink More Booze.
A quick question. Do you write better when you are drunk? Idea wise that is, not spelling, grammar and coherency. You can always clean up that stuff when you are sober or have someone else do that.

2:13 PM  

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