Thursday, May 17, 2007

A New Me

In a decision entirely motivated by insomnia, I've changed my profile picture. Exciting? Yes, of course it is; it's the profile pic-changing equivalent of Dylan going electric.

As you may have noticed, I went in a different direction this time around; gone is the "Classic C-Dog" look (me at my cubicle, looking drop-dead sexy while wearing slimming stripes). These days, it's all about the "Goofy Ol' Clinton," which as you can see features me, grinning like I've just won First Prize at a science fair, standing against our blue living room wall and wearing an unusually green shirt that has in the past been favorably compared to things found at the City Dump.

I think this new, innovative picture represents a bold step forward in the direction of ZFS! My beefy face speaks of the sweet laughter we're all sure to share. The bold, clashing colors brazenly hint at the surprises and secrets that could pop up with every new post. And, of course, my obvious inability to shave on a regular basis proves, once and for all, that I am basically a hobo who happens to have a steady job.

Yes, it's the dawn of a new era. An era of hope, of joy, of poor choices in photographic representation... it's going to be great, kids! Just fucking great!!!

NOTE: Seriously, I'd really like to go to sleep now.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try listening to some AM radio at a low enough volume that you can't really make out what they're saying - that usually works for me. And good lord, I think I might have possibly turned into a senior citizen just now. Eesh.

1:30 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I actually don't own a radio, believe it or not. Girlfriend, 90% of the time, falls asleep waaaay before I do, so I tend to try to fall asleep listening to Sportscenter/Baseball Tonight/An actual baseball game (if the Mets are playing on the West Coast), but that doesn't work because I'm usually too interested in what's going on on the TV.

I don't know; maybe I should just develop a crippling addiction to sleeping pills.

8:58 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I don't know; maybe I should just develop a crippling addiction to sleeping pills.

That does not go along with the new Clinton at all....

9:50 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

You should try a shot of heroin at bedtime.

PS - The new picture looks great.

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you look so different, so friendly/happy! I do like the colors but part of me will miss the old photo which looked like you were about to stand up and announce something...

10:17 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Jeff... Thanks, dude. I'm torn, actually, about the new pic; part of me likes it, but part of it thinks I look like a large ape that ate Clinton and absorbed his features.

Playing Ugly... What's funny is, immediately after that picture was taken, I stood up and announced to my office that I was, quote, "the most awesome thing ever." They bought it and I'm now their king.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

"a large ape that ate Clinton and absorbed his features."

You've got the makings of a SciFi Channel movie with that one.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Colleen said...

I was fond of you lurking in the shadows in the old one, but I'll adjust to this sunny new look.
My bf has insomnia. You two should have playdates when you both can't sleep.
I hate that term: playdates. Bah! When I was a kid, no one had to make a "date," we just went outside and played! raaaaaah

11:39 AM  
Blogger stew said...

I like it. It's like a mugshot from Happy Jail and you just got arrested by Officer Smiley for Cupcakes in the First Degree. I hope that's not the rat gore shirt.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

It is a good pic.

I have struggled with insomnia for ages.

You know what works?


Even the Duane Reade/Walgreen's store version.

Take one about half hour before you want to fall asleep, and it should make you drowsy.

Their not addictive like sleeping pills, and don't mess up your liver like Tylenol PM.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Jonathan T said...

I hear that El Boring Boringson's Greatest Hits album is great for curing insomnia. is blocked from my work, where I do 99% of my recreational Net browsing. I'll have to make a special effort to check out your pic tonight.
If the mental image based on your description is anywhere close to the actual pic, that's some good writin'.

11:52 AM  
Blogger Colleen said...

Ha! El Boring Borington strikes again! He should do a duet with Kevin Mahogany for ultimate sleep inducement.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Jeff... My agent is in talks with the SciFi Network as we speak. We're also trying to sell them on a movie about a zombie that fights a shark.

Colleen... Yay!!! Playdate!!! Does he have cool G.I. Joes? Because if he doesn't, he isn't invited.

Pigeon... Officer Smiley beat the shit out of me with his Happiness Wand. I got a wonderful concussion. Also, no, not the rat-gore shirt. It's still waiting to be washed.

Big Daddy... I've had bad experiences with Benadryl. Like, where I didn't wake up for a few days kind of experiences.

Jonathan... I need to get El Boring Boringson's latest album of sonambulent remixes. It's the sleepiest!!!

Colleen... I clicked on that link and then I blacked out. What did I miss?

1:10 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I need to get El Boring Boringson's latest album of sonambulent remixes. It's the sleepiest!!!

IT'S OUT????

1:16 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Only in Germany. I have to go through a dealer I met on the internet.

2:13 PM  
Blogger stew said...

hey! check out my new tat!

ok I just spent like twenty minutes zoning out during a conference call making a stupid fake tat pic and it won't post and to hell with everything (#*(#*($#($(#($(#($#(*(#$()(8888

5:25 PM  
Blogger stew said...

but now it's not funny

in fact it's kind of stalkery

maybe I shouldn't have gotten this tat

5:26 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...


That's funny.

5:29 PM  
Blogger stew said...

oh htmly show off, YOU get a tattoo and see how well you can type code the next day.

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Careful with any and all use of No-Doz. This chic that I grew up with I'll call her "Jessie Spano". Well, she ended up abusing them and was found in a deep sleep by our mutual friend whom I'll call "Zach". When he woke Jessie up, she just kept singing "I'm SOOOOO Excited!" Over and over.

Scary stuff those sleeping pills. You've been warned.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

At least your friend was okay. Sounds to me like she just barely made it. Or, rather, she was saved by the bell.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I got that beat.

I don't take Ambien anymore because I was sleepwalking at night.

I would get up and eat and stuff.

The one night I took the entire bottle while asleep.

I slept for 3 days. I even called in to work, and my boss later said it sounded like I was tripping because there were long pauses in a 20 minute call.

Of course, I don't remember any of it.

11:34 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home