Doomwatch '07

Something is going to happen today. Something bad.

I know this because, see, when I woke up this morning, I was overcome by a nagging sensation of impending doom. Also, I had to pee. I took care of that, then I was able to focus on this inescapable feeling of dread and, after careful consideration and after ruling out the possibility that there's something in my own life that I'm currently dreading, I've come to the conclusion that no good can come of today.

Now I'm not saying we're all doomed, despite what the picture to the right might have you believe. There's every chance that this opaque sense of menace might only concern things that will happen to me. Then again... maybe not. I don't know, and that's the real problem here.

So, what to do?

Well, the obvious solution would be for all of us to take the day off from work, very carefully make our way back to our respective apartments, and hole up there for the rest of the day, keeping an eye on CNN while we curl up under some blankets and patiently wait for tomorrow's 12:01 am. This, of course, isn't entirely feasible being as how "I think some bad shit's gonna go down" isn't really an excuse most bosses will except in exchange for your absence. And that's not even considering the possibility that this shapeless, shadowy "bad thing" might in some way involve your (using the royal "your" here) apartment building blowing up in a hellish fireball.

Nope, that won't do at all. It seems then that the best course of action is to stay steady-as-she-goes; go on about our daily lives as if I hadn't just this morning been gripped by the icy hand of unfortunately vague premonitions.

All I can say is, everyone, be on the lookout. Be aware of your surroundings. If you see a glint of steel, for god sakes duck! I'll be monitering the national situation from my cubicle, using the most sophisticated methods of science (hitting the "refresh" button while at CNN's website) to stay on top of this day's ever-changing happenings. If this "whatever" happens somewhere in the world, I'll be one of the first to know. Unless I'm in the bathroom. Or at lunch. Then would one of you be so kind as to shoot me an email? Thanks!

Having said all this, we musn't forget that there's a very good chance that all of this is meaningless. This feeling I've got could be nothing more than digestive issues, or maybe it's the leftover trepidation from an already-forgotten bad dream.

It's very likely nothing. Unless it isn't. And in that case, I'm totally a prophet! So it's win-win.

NOTE: I'll be updating regularly today to fill everyone in on the progress of Doomwatch '07. We'll see what happens.... we'll just see...