Praise Be To Andrew
My cubicle-mate Andrew gave me a generous portion of his french fries, thus saving me from another cracker n' dip lunch. Hallowed be his name.
I did, however, dip the fries in Ranch dressing because I'll never forget my roots. Incidentally, they were delicious. The scavenger's shame only made them taste a little bitter, so that's nice. It should also be noted, for the sake of thoroughness, that Girlfriend gave me one of her grape-flavored Capri Suns to drink with my lunch. It, too, was delicious. Very grape-y, though I suppose this was to be expected.
I did, however, dip the fries in Ranch dressing because I'll never forget my roots. Incidentally, they were delicious. The scavenger's shame only made them taste a little bitter, so that's nice. It should also be noted, for the sake of thoroughness, that Girlfriend gave me one of her grape-flavored Capri Suns to drink with my lunch. It, too, was delicious. Very grape-y, though I suppose this was to be expected.
posted by Clinton at 1:45 PM
16 Comments:
Can you do that?
Mix ranch dressing and grape flavored beverages?
That Andrew sounds like a saint, and any hot, preferrably single women aged 20-28 should e-mail Clint for his contact information.
hey guess what? grape soda makes your poop turn green.
also, I scavenged around for stuff to donate to the Clint Lunch Dippins Fund and here's what I came up with:
- a bunch of Jack in the Box hot sauce envelopes, recent vintage
- a whole ton of ketchups of various vintages
- some petrified Mentos from the bottom of my old carry-on bag
- beer salt I bought in Texas because I thought beer salt was going to be delicious until I realized "beer salt" is Texan for "urinal cake"
- tiny jar of raspberry jam with whisky flavor that boyfriend of five years ago bought me in Scotland
- weird souvenir vinegar with unidentified herbal vegetation floating therein
- truly old Girl Scout cookies in freezer
- candle that smells like Oreos from neighbor
Technically that last one isn't a food item, I know.
Interested????
Hells yeah! Pigeon, you're the bestest.
In fact, why aren't the rest of you offering me the condiments that are no doubt littering the file cabinets and junk drawers of your lives. Frankly, I expected better from complete strangers who occasionally read things I write.
Today I found a tic tac in my shoe. It was orange. Shall I add that to the Clint Lunch Dippins Fund? It looks like it's still good.
We really should put together a condiment care package for Clinton, ZFS! Fans and Readers.
We need to make sure he has enough energy to post and everything.
And cheese, you just gave me the giggles.
Cheese... How, exactly, does one get a Tic Tac in their shoe? Also, no thanks; I don't like the orange ones.
Lioux... See, this is the kind of forward-thinking, go-getterness that we're looking for around here. You're hired!
This is most AWESOME news.
I have a whole drawer o' condiments here! I shall donate them to you if you post your mailing address.
When I was having some of my poorest times, my coworkers and I would go on free-sample-scavenging trips to Garden of Eden and Whole Foods™®©. Take your old employers for their free delicious cheese cubes! Also, for free boozing purposes, myopenbar.com.
a friend of mine found a ladybug in her salad from the local deli.
i had her save it for you.
let me know if it taste like chicken...
Lioux... You start Monday. Dress to impress.
Colleen... I just might do that; post a mailing address, I mean. Maybe even make it a contest. There may even be (cheap) prizes (that you won't really want) involved. Hmm... much to ponder. I'll have to think this over while stealing cheese cubes.
Quin... But...but... ladybugs are out friends!
ok but I changed my mind and I'm keeping the pee-smelly beer salt.
I'll throw in some nondairy creamer tubs instead.
I've got several packets of Duck Sauce that accumulated in my fridge. There all yours!
just because they are out, doesn't mean you can't eat them.
Let me check my desk:
- a smidge of chunky peanut butter
- some kraft parmesan cheese
- a packet of reeses pieces
- some extra virgin olive oli sea salt crackers [they taste too yeasty for me] oh duh! more crackers!
- half a bottle of soy sauce
- a packet of earl grey tea
- 6 packets of ketchup
- a box of peppermint tea
- a tin of black tea
- a half a bottle of yellow mustard
- salt AND pepper shaker
- snack pack of apple sauce
- ooh another partially finished jar of CREAMY peanut butter
- a packet of maple syrup
- a can of tropical fruit salad
- a box of chai tea bags
- a thing of butter
- some vinaigrette dressing i made
and the coup de grace
- a single serving of Honey Nut Cheerios that doesn't have an expiration date.
Yikes, that's a lot of stuff.
So Clinton, what would you like?
[I'm surprised we don't have rats.
I really should clean out my desk].
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